Arboretum

Zeke refused to be happy even though I went to the Arboretum specifically to get good pictures. I think he was cold to be honest. Oh well, next year perhaps? Kelly and Kim were bribing their boys and it seemed to work fairly well...too bad Zeke is too little to bribe! I'd be all over that. Next year I'll try again...with jelly beans. Thanks for meeting me anyways girls!

Pumpkin Patch

Wow, I finished those photos fast. What can I say? Zeke took a long nap yesterday and I don't clean on Sundays.

Also a size update since we got shots this morning: Zeke is 17 pounds 3 ounces and 27.5 inches tall. 90th and 95th+ percentiles respectively. We have an inch and a half in our carseat left. We may have to buy a new one before Thanksgiving....

Greenbluff

Josh and I went to Greenbluff yesterday. Sadly it was our first trip this year! Zeke was too young for me to attempt it, so we missed the strawberries, and the cherries, and the peaches, and the tomatoes :( We had a lot of fun however and picked apples, and a pumpkin, and even got some late prunes. We both agreed that next year we will make up for it by going an extra lot. Plus, how much fun will it be when Zeke can enjoy it more? I must say, even this time he was pretty pleased, he loves being outdoors so much. Next year will be even better.

Me picking apples.
Zeke wanted an apple to hold.

Ok, Zeke wanted LOTS of apples to hold! He laughed as I kept piling them in with him.

Josh looking for prunes.

Zeke wanted a prune too but I had to take it away when he tried to eat it.

When we got home Ezekiel STILL wanted to hold at least one apple. He thought it was a really fun toy until he got bored and threw it across the kitchen, giving it a big ol bruise. Oh well.

We also got some really great pictures of Zeke in the pumpkins. You don't get any of those today because they, along with some more I will take later this week, will be his "4 month" pictures so I'm taking the time to work on them a little in photoshop before I "reveal" them.

Its my goal to finish them this week, though, so don't get too anxious. I will also be making and canning applesauce for Zeke. Or at least trying! I'll admit I've never canned anything in my life, nor even SEEN anything canned. It might be interesting. I said, "How hard can it be?" and Josh gave me one of those looks that he likes to give me when I'm biting off more than I can chew. He knows better than to say anything but I know that look! I will show him. I can do anything with the Lord who gives me strength, also with a combination of wiki-how and youtube.

Thoughts

I have been struck by many thoughts the past few days.

1. I wished the old wives tales were true and starting solids meant longer breaks between feedings. But then I was glad they weren't (or at least aren't for my little fatty) since cereal is pretty much nutritionally useless, even the expensive organic whole-grain stuff that I buy. Also call me crazy but I really really enjoy breastfeeding. It's becoming the only time my son will cuddle me. All he wants these days is to play. Josh has started wrestling with him and its so hilarious to watch, Zeke just loves it.

Sorry, my train of thought kind of de-railed.

2. I wondered when it will hit Zeke that we are two separate people. I read this happens anytime between 6-12 months. Then I wondered when it will hit me. I've been away from him a few times now. Josh and I have had "dates", also I get my mom's night once a month. But it always feels strange. I dont know if I will ever feel completely separate from him.

3. A call today: Me "Hello?". On the line "Hi, sweetie..." What is sadder? That Dr Morgan's nurse calls me sweetie and starts reminding me about Z's appointment Monday before even introducing who she is or that it was unnecessary because I recognized that is was her? We are in that office WAY too much.


Also I've been thinking a lot about school for Zeke. (Yes, I am the mom that starts thinking about this when her son is 4 months old) I really really want to get him into Montessori but let's face it, there is no guarantee that Zeke will be accepted, it's a very competitive program and no matter how much breast milk and Faulkner I stuff into that child he is going to be who he is going to be. I am also considering the APPLE program, its less competitive but requires a LOT of parent kissing-up (serving on boards, volunteering in the classroom) to be accepted. Its really intriguing to me, however, and I think might be well worth it. Then there is also Catholic school (the only private we can afford) some of which around here are very well though-of. Then of course public is always an option, its kind of hit and miss in Spokane but worlds better than anything I grew up with in Idaho and if Josh and I are careful when we buy a house we could end up in a district better than any alternative choice.

Just a lot to consider. And absolutely useless right now because hey, its like 6 years away. Also so much will affect the choice that cant be anticipated like what public school we are assigned to and Zeke's personality. An independent child would thrive in Montessori, on the other hand APPLE would allow me to be much much more involved and would be a better transition for a more needy kid. Then I was thinking that it would also depend on how many more I had at home at the time, what kind of effort I could really put into it.

Which led me to the real thought. I've always wanted a huge family. 4, 5, 6 kids. But now I'm wondering if that's still true. I mean, a lot of kids would be great. But I want to do so much for my children. I want them to have so many opportunities. And the sad but very true fact is, there is only so much "me" to go around. I can give a lot more to 2 or even 3 children then I could to 4 or 5. I mean, number 5 is not going to be read to every day like Ezekiel has been, he wouldn't get any of the alone time Zeke has enjoyed. If I've got 4 others at home, I can't volunteer in Zeke's classroom or go on field trips or help him with his homework as often. Josh and I could handle 2 playing soccer or hockey or whatever but probably not 5.

I know a lot of the above isn't really important. You don't have to play soccer to be a well balanced human ect. But its something I'd like to do. And I know lot of mom's have quite a few children (or plan to) and handle it wonderfully, their kids do get time each and they do handle all the conflicting schedules with grace. Some of you read this blog. Go you, seriously. I'm not saying YOU cant do it. I'm saying maybe I cant.

Just a thought.

Sucess!

Zeke slept 8 and a half hours straight last night! Wow! (after 6 hours I made Josh check his breathing because I was too scared to)

And then today a successful 2 and a half hour nap! Ok, Ok, all but the first 45 minutes were in my arms while I read. But I am happy anyways.

oh so many updates

An update on Zeke's allergies: I can now officially eat cheese. We have tried it on numerous occasions now with no dire effects. Milk- not so much. While he didn't scream and scream like he used to, he still had pretty bad gas and some nasty diapers. I figure he couldn't have been comfortable. But we are on our way!

An update on his kidneys: We are now only once a day meds. Although we have been switched to a new kind and Zeke is NOT a fan. I dont blame him, it smells like cough syrup.

An update on sleeping: Since implementing my new plan, nights have been awesome! Once we started a schedule and routine he went right back to his old 8 o clock bedtime, which I LOVE because it gives Josh and I some "us" time. He wakes up once around 2 in order to eat and moves into our bed between 5 and 7 the second time he wakes up. Then he sleeps with me until 8. We are pretty much were we were a month ago, to be honest. A trip and a sickness and another sickness threw us all off. Also, his new non-napping made things a lot harder.

And naps, surprisingly, are still a stickler. Who ever heard of a baby that sleeps at night well but doesn't nap? I thought those were easier!

Anyways, I haven't been allowing any sleeping past 5 o clock because it throws off his night. The problem was he was just taking 15 minute snoozes here and there all day and then crashing at 6 and napping 2 hours and waking up at 8. So what I've been doing this week is any time he gets tired from 12-4 I encourage it and try to get him to take a nap. Still 15 minutes later he is up.

So what has been happening is that in the later afternoon I give up any chance of him napping and lay down with him. Then he will nap for an hour, two hours, even three hours. This is great but I cant lay down with him every day! But at the same time he HAS to have a nap or its meltdown city, and I think 2 even would be best.

Soooo, I will pick a time this week (or maybe 2 times) where I will really commit to napping. I will feed and rock and put him in his crib with his sleeping blanket (this was designated to be a sleep association earlier in our struggles). When he wakes up in 15 minutes I will rock again. And again. And again if I have to. Until he has slept at least an hour. I will get nothing done during this time but the plan is just to get him used to sleeping during the day. Sleeping by himself will be the next step.

This is pretty much how I've been night training. And if I can do it at night, I am sure I can do it during the day!

By the way, here are some great pictures! Just being super cute, plus his newest hat. Although I have to take a hat-break to make some washclothes. Now that he is eating solids I need some!

sleep

I update my blog far too much lately.

Anyways, now that Zeke is healthy and back at home and life is somewhat normal I am finally going to put him on that schedule I've been considering. I really really enjoyed him doing his own thing. You know, falling asleep when he felt like it and all. It used to work. He woke up around 8, napped thru-out the day, and went to bed at 8.

But these days its not working. Mostly because he doesn't fall asleep anymore. He's become far far too busy for such things apparently. Sometimes he'll take a good nap at like 6pm (yes, that late nap that all mothers know about and dread) Then he's up until 11. Most days he just sleeps 15 minutes here and there. And he's cranky. And I'm cranky. Also Josh is cranky because he comes home to 2 very cranky people.

Sooooo. 2 naps a day, buddy. From here on out! (haha, Im probably dreaming!)

The plan is thus: I figure he almost always wakes up between 8 and 8:30 (except crazy mornings like this one when he slept in until almost 10...but he was also up until almost 2 am...yeah...). But Anyways, if he wakes up around 8 I can get him to stay up until 12 easy. We are very busy in the mornings and generally head home from somewhere or another around that time. He always falls asleep in the car. I cant stop this so I will use it. It will be his first nap. Today this worked wonders. He woke up in his seat when we got home but it was easy to just nurse him back down.

Then he'll do a second nap at like 4 I think. I'm not sure about this yet. It may not be long enough from his first one for him to accept it, but I don't want it to be too late or he wont go to sleep and while Josh and I aren't totally set on 8 like it used to be we want him down by 9 at least. And he definately needs 2 naps Im pretty sure. He's only 4 months.

THEN at 8 or 8:30 we will reinstate out bedtime routine! We kinda did this for a while but then realized it was silly since he went to sleep with or without it. But we will re-instate because this is important in all the books. I think mine will go bath, nurse, and rock (with book or songs). Even though most books say NOT to nurse and NOT to rock...I dont care. Their reasoning is you don't want to do it forever but I wont mind nursing at night until he's 18 months or so and Im sure he'll oppose rocking before I do!

So yeah, sound good?

Any advice?

First food!

A STORY IN PICTURES

Hey, what are you two doing?


Are you going to feed me?


Heres me and my cereal!


Give it to me!!!


Oh that's good!


I want more!

Aaaaaaand a video!




PS, Yes that is a measuring spoon. I was not following the 7 P's and hadn't bought a baby spoon yet. My dad always said, prior proper planning prevents piss-poor performance! (I heard that a LOT, and now so does Josh, and soon so will Zeke though it might become 6 P's...piss really isn't an appropriate word...)

So just Saturday I was telling Melanie (Ezekiel's grandma) that I thought Zeke might be ready for some food (or at least some very watery cereal) but I wanted to wait until his meds were 1 time a day instead of 3 times, i.e. next week. You see, though I'd planned on waiting another month (when he's 5 months) to introduce solids, Zeke has been getting hungrier and hungrier at night. Nursing sometimes an hour straight and then again 2 hours later! Plus he's been watching me eat and mimicking my motions like opening my mouth and chewing. And forever grabbing my food. All signs of solid readyness, though he cant sit in his highchair yet without slumping over.

But like I said, his meds are 3 times a day currently and the nurses warned me might upset his tummy till hes used to them. So I thought we will try next week when he hits 4 months and is on the meds only once a day.

Then Saturday night Zeke nursed and nursed and nursed. And I was empty, and he was still hungry! This has never happened before! Not even close! So we thawed a bottle and he ate another 3 ounces! Then Sunday night it looked like it would happen again! So out came the fancy organic cereal. And let me tell you Zeke loved it! (It actually doesn't taste bad, it was really sweet, although this is probably because I made it with breastmilk and my breastmilk is somehow vanilla flavored. Its kind of gross its so sweet.) Any-whos he kept leaning forward and opening his mouth for more so he must have liked it. And for a first feeding he swallowed quite a bit of it, he really had the tongue motion down!

This morning I made it a bit thicker (I think it was too thin last night but I didn't want him to choke) and he gobbled 2 Tbl down at once without breathing it seemed! So he must have been ready. Its so much fun. In a few weeks we'll do vegetables!

Dr Morgan gave me a kind of ridiculous feeding schedule that I will probably follow to a T because Im a first-time mom and rather fond of schedules.
1st month- cereal morning and night.
2nd month- cereal morning, veggie night.
3rd month- cereal and fruit morning, veg afternoon, veg and fruit at night.
4th month- cereal and fruit, veg and fruit, meat and veg

I dont know what happens after this. I'll be tired of such a strict schedule and do whatever I want, probably. Josh thinks this will happen before 4 months. Maybe. I wouldn't be suprised. Once he can eat small chunks it'll be a lot easier to pick bits from my food to give him. I'm a really healthy eater so I don't see why not.

And now a picture just for fun!
Tom Cruise ain't got nothing on this baby!


As if I could really tell a picture in stories huh? You knew I'd also write forever! A picture may be worth 1,000 words but so are 1,000 words right?

So about the relux

I've been getting a lot of questions. And I realized not everyone was around when I was little and had this problem and therefor dont know what urinary reflux is sooo....

The "real" name is vesicoureteral reflux. In a normal person when the kindeys flush urine into the bladder a little flap over the connecting tube flaps shut to prevent any subsequent swirling from going back into the kidneys. Zeke's flap doesn't flap shut. Therefor when there is swirling (which there always is, Im told) some urine goes back into his kidneys. This happens again and again and again. So bacteria builds up. So he gets a urinary tract infection, or UTI.

Too many UTI's are bad. Because of a few reasons.
A. They are painful and generally suck.
B. They are hard to catch in babies, they cant tell you it hurts to pee and by the time you get a fever from one its pretty hard-core.
C. if you get too many you get major kidney scarring and become desensitized so you can no longer feel the pain and don't know when you have a UTI anymore. (this has happened to me)

So to stop Zeke from getting them constantly he will take amoxicillin (sp?) everyday. (By the way, he loves this stuff. its so sweet the smell makes me sick but he just opens wide for more.)
We will also see a specialist once a year for a special x-ray called, wait for it, a voiding cystourethrogram. What they do is put a tube up Zeke's penis into his bladder and then shoot a special liquid that will show on the x-ray thru the tube. They take pictures as the bladder fills and then as Zeke urinates. This shows the reflux and will let us know when Zeke has grown out of it. They also really really suck, they are the scans I've been talking about remembering so fondly.

So I hope that answers all questions.

Also here are some pics of Zeke at the hospital before we took out his IV. I think the get-up they had to put over it to keep him from chewing on it is hilarious, personally. It seems like every nurse shift took one look at him chewing away and added more. When we took it off there was a HUGE pile of tape, some cotton usually used for splints, half of a pill-cup, and some of that spider-man netting.

Were going home!

De ja vu right? I think I already have a post of that title dated 3 months ago...

So Dr Morgan says we are going home with some low dose antibiotics (oral) after our last round of IV antibiotics at 12. The plan thus far is he will take these for a few years probably. Once a year we will go in for a cosult and bladder scan with our new specialist Dr Star. The hope is that he will outgrow the urinary reflux sooner or later, prolly when he's 3-6. Dr Star says he's a level 2 so he'd be really really suprised if he didnt outgrow it.

So all in all not that bad. Pills for a few years sucks but hey I did it and it wasnt that scarring. The horrid part I remember is the being tied down to a metal table spread eagle and cathetered and told to pee while they take pictures for almost an hour behind a huge concrete wall. That was awful yesterday and I am not looking forward to doing it a few more times with a baby actually old enough to remember. The good news is Dr Morgan says he thinks I can request Zeke to be put out for the procedure next time when he's 1. Dr Star verified this. Its a "concious anasthesia" whatever that means. Im doing it no matter what its called. It was bad enough yesterday.

Sooooo, yeah. M+M peeps I will see you tomorrow at the Oct meeting. Thanks everyone for prayers and offers to help. Mostly we are just tired and bored, though. Nothing going home wont help.

Peace.

grah

I am a failure as a mother.

On two points.

A. I have passed on my genetic weaknesses to my son.

B. I then dont realize when said genetic weakness is making him really really sick. Really sick.

So yeah, remember Monday? I knew something was up, I knew Z wasnt himself. But there was no fever. And I didnt want to be "that mom". You know, the one that rushes her baby to the doctor because he's fussy and restless even though he doesn't have a fever, he's eating fine, and he's happy 70 percent of the time still. Well Monday night the fever started. And I said, well its one night, its only 101 which isnt that much for a baby really. I will give him Tylenol and call Dr Morgan in the morning.

A horrid night. A worse morning. I get an appointment for 11. Of course Zeke's totally cheerful. His ears are fine. His chest sounds great. He's not even teething. But Dr Morgan God bless him, after listening to me talk about his change of attitude and after taking his temp again (slightly high) says well maybe its something after all. We order a blood and urine test.

Well the blood test comes back with LOTS of white blood cells. The urine test lights up like a christmas tree. Dr Morgan calls to say to come to the hospital, he needs to be on an IV and he needs it now.

Evidently my son (after 2 days in the hospital now and scans and blood draws and xrays) has urinary reflux. Just. Like. Me. All that random screaming and nightwaking? He was probably trying to pee. Yeah, he's had a UTI for at least 2 weeks by the looks of it.

How was I supposed to know? He always cheered up. He never had a fever.....

I feel awful. Anyways, we get released tomorrow. Cross fingers, barring all changes. And Dr Morgan is giong to discuss with me where we go from here after he gets the results of his bladder scan. (I remember that scan. Its so awful to be on the other side of it. Although not nearly as awful as his side. I know. I remember.)

I will update later.

Hoorah!

Hoorah done with chores! I told myself no posting until you are finished Courtney Clark!

This is the only thing I can say Hoorah to today however. Zeke got better at sleeping and then the last 2 days worse again. Compacted with this trend is the fact that Josh and I dont have nearly the patience of last week. So he ended up in our bed the last two nights at around 2 am. Such is life. Starting this week I am implementing Kait's advice and putting Zeke's naps more on a schedule. But I am also going to realize that Zeke is teething and has extra needs right now.

At least I think he's teething. His gums look and feel normal but he just whines and whines all day every day and knaws and knaws on everything he can get his hands on. His gripe water doesn't seem to help, but the teething tablets I gave him last night might have. Its hard to tell what helped when you've tried 100 things ya know? This is just not like him. Being so fussy all the time. So SOMETHING is up. I hope its not an ear infection or something like that but no fever so I feel stupid taking him in to Dr Morgan.

For the good part, however.

Do you think he realizes he is flirting with himself?


Baby in Daddy's hat. (It was early and his hat was sitting there from coming home from work the night before...what can I say?)


So Ezekiel has been getting cranky on his daily walks, twice I ended up letting him sit on the handle bars. (of course I was holding him!) Then I had the most obvious eureka moment ever. Instead of snapping his car seat on, why not let him sit like a big boy? Duh! Anyways, he loves it.


And this is Zeke right before I posted this. (Right now he's taking his late nap...in my arms because I'm too lazy to walk upstairs...hence slow typing) As you can see he's still not really big enough. But I think he likes his jeep, he was steering away. What a natural. Thanks G-ma Tammy and G-pa Keith!

PS. Yes I use the Bible for other purposes as well, its not just a foot stool to us. Its also a door stopper or paper weight. Just kidding! I really do read this to him I promise!

Aaaaand a video! Then Im finished one finger typing!

So many new things

First I just have to mention that I was just sitting here thinking, man I have a LOT to do today. Usually by Friday I have all my weekly chores finished but somehow this week I barely managed to finish half of them so far, and I am confident I wont finish the rest today. And I was wondering why. And then I realized this is my 3rd post this week... Hm maybe related?

In fact I distinctly remember a load of laundry waiting last post...and this post? Oh, there's vacuuming and sweeping and a cake to be made for the BBQ tomorrow. I suppose I just feel no drive to get anything productive done at naptime this week. I will blame the rain.

Anyways, Zeke is a completely different baby this week it seems. He started laughing, he started rolling over to his stomach (more on this later), most importantly he started grabbing things. I say most importantly because this is what has changed our lives the most. Nothing is safe any longer. Especially not my food. I don't know how many times I had to wipe his hand clean at Bangkok Thai on Wednesday. I dont want him sucking on that spicy stuff! Also I crocheted him a hat this week because it was so cold and while he has a beanie it is WAY too big for his tiny (comparatively) head. And it was harder then expected. Why you ask? Well because no matter how many toys I put in front of him all Zeke wanted was my crochet hook. He knew the best toy must be what mommy was playing with. Also his new favorite dinner game is knock his toys off his tray. This keeps him off my lap and therefor out of my food but of course, he gets very angry when there are no toys left. Oh the joys of this game. I will have many months of it to look forward to.

Now, to go back to the rolling onto his stomach thing. I HATE this. It freaks me out to find him on his tummy at night. He's not particularly good at it, it takes quite the effort, and a lot of times he only manages to turn 90 degrees. But the last 2 nights I've woken up to Zeke on his tummy in his crib. It does have a plus. He sleeps better this way. Last night I only got up 3 times, at 1 and then at 6 to feed and once between that because he was on his stomach and couldn't get onto his side like he was trying to. It was kind of funny, he was getting so mad. But I flipped him over and he went right out. And the night before that I only got up twice, both feedings. That's a huge improvement over the uncountable times its been lately, most of them for no reason at all. And I know this is directly related to the tummy sleeping. But I still hate it. I've heard a lot that as soon as they are doing it on their own SIDS is no longer an issue, but he cant always get off his tummy (like last night) so I dont actually think he's ready. Oh well, there's not much I can do about it. Except reap the benefits I suppose. Though Im not holding my breath. He's had these good days before only to wake up 300 times the next night.

Oh yeah, one last piece of info. I weighed him yesterday because I was curious. 17 pounds. 3 and a half months and he's 17 pounds! He outgrows his car seat at 22...I wonder how much longer we will last? I'm not sure what to do however. I cant find any convertible car seats that rear face for over 35 pounds. Which he just might hit at this rate before he turns 1, which is the earliest I can legally forward face him. Maybe he will stop growing?

Pictures!Playing with his froggy. Dont tell Zebra but he's fallen out of favor a bit this week. You see, Zebra does not make that lovely crinkle sound. My son is a bit fickle it seems.

All ready for the cold weather in his new hat. White, Josh and I decided, is a bit girly but its the only color I had on hand. Maybe I'll buy some new yarn this weekend.


Ezekiel's new jumperoo! I bought it at the consignment sale earlier today and Zeke loves it already. He doesnt quite jump yet but he kicks a little bit. Mostly he just enjoys the standing I think. He's still about an inch shy for his jeep, but I bet when he's tall enough he loves that too!

And lastly a video of some giggles.


PS I was scrapbooking (so close to catching up on the baby book by the by) and talking to myself when I realized that even when alone I now refer to myself in the 3rd person as "mommy". I might talk to Ezekiel too much. Although it is a good excuse to constantly talk...

Thanks

Thanks everyone for the advice and the empathy! It helps to know my baby is not the only one with night issues. I will borrow that book from you, Kim for sure. I've heard good things about it before. And I've thought maybe we were starting the teething process because of some daytime behaviors, so you are right, it could be affecting his nights as well.

And I will also think about making his naps a bit more scheduled Kait. So far I have been pretty much letting him do his own thing and that might be part of the problem as well. Though I'm not really sure about that. He goes to bed at the same time (give or take half an hour) almost every night, and with very little fighting most nights. And he wakes up (give or take a half hour) at the same time too. We are 8-8 around here almost like clockwork. And when he wakes up at night its not a long process to get him back down. A bink back in the mouth, a pat on the back, or a short feeding. He's not really getting up to play, just to be comforted and told he's not alone.

I am going to do what I can but mostly I'll adopt Amber's attitude. This too SHALL pass. Its just part of the process of raising a baby and you have to take the good with the bad. Its not even the worst part of raising a baby really. I think Amber's got it worse with potty training ;)

Anyways, pictures!

This is the laundry pile that I am currently avoiding. Yay for using nap time for the internet! Seriously, however, how does a child that small make SO MUCH LAUNDRY? He makes as much if not more laundry then I do and my clothes are much bigger.

An exciting development of last night. Zeke was playing with this toy before bed! He was reaching and grabbing it and he's never done that before! Josh and I were very impressed.

Zeke sits in his chair every morning while I shower now. Its so nice, I can shower every day now, AND in the morning! Anyways... I forgot to buckle him in and this is what I came out of the shower to.

This is just DANG CUTE. My son the ladies man in a sweater vest.

And here is a video. Josh thinks Zeke will be crawling any day now. I think its more like any month now. Before Christmas but after Halloween for sure. That does not stop us from daily torturing him.

Soooo tired

I am sooooo tired. Seriously.

So I was so very excited a few posts back. Zeke had slept 2 nights in his crib with barely a feeding or waking. Yipee I said, my baby is sleep trained and I didn't even do anything.

HAHAHAHAHA. <-- sleep deprived insane laughter.

That was for only two nights. I have been so happy since then to get even 2 hours of sleep. A 2 hour stretch is an achievement you wouldn't believe. So your son is president huh? Well mine slept 2 hours!! HAHAHAHHAHA. (I need to stop that...)

Last night it went a little something like this. Feeding at 8, put to bed, wakes up and cries till I feed again at 9, again at 10, again at 11. Then he slept till 2:30. I was so happy I almost cried. Then Josh took over (ok I admit it, I was actually crying). He said he got up 4 times until 5:30 when Zeke wouldn't settle for him until he was taken to me and fed. Then we gave up and put him in our bed, because we do so in the mornings anyways and 5:30 can count as morning if I say so.

As you can see there are 2 problems here. A. My son has decided my only function in this world is his meal ticket. Seriously, I know he's not hungry again but as soon as he sees me all of a sudden he wants to eat and wont calm down until he has. This is only at night, I should mention. During the day he regularly goes 3, 4, even 5 hours between feedings. I have a difficult time sometimes even getting him to eat because he wants to play again as soon as he has even partly filled up. And maybe that is part of the problem too, I dont know, all I know is at night he cries and cries until I feed him, every time he wakes up. As you can see, if Josh gets up a pat on the back and a binky is enough. Josh doesn't lactate and Zeke knows this. Now B. is the more basic problem of the fact that he wakes up and wakes up and wakes up. He wont self sooth at all. I dont get it. He naps great, always has, always alone.

I know Annali is dealing with the same thing with her Henry. I know billions of mothers are dealing with the same thing. But I am personally at a loss. I don't want to sleep with him anymore in our room. He is beginning to outgrow his Moses basket and I don't want to bring his crib into our room. I just don't want to go there. I know he's capable of self soothing. Like I said, he does it at nap time, he did it 2 nights a few weeks ago.

I also don't want to "cry it out". I am personally not capable of this, nor do I really even want to be, even though I know a lot of great mothers that have done it with success. Isn't there some reasonable middle ground?

Yes, you say. And it involves getting up in the middle of the night. A lot.

All I can say is he better dang appreciate this when he is older....

PS I have pictures. And a video. And I will post both later today :)

belly laughs!

I HAVE to let everyone know that Ezekiel just laughed for the first time!!!! I mean, he has "laughed" before but this was the first good belly laugh. Before it was really just giggling. I was tickling him, which has only gotten smiles before when he suddenly cracked up!

I am really happy because only earlier today I was a little downhearted in yoga because everyone was talking about how much their babies babbled (even babies littler than Zeke) and Zeke really only coos. He doesn't have any consonants yet. Plus it was just mentioned to me that he doesn't "talk" or bat at things at all when he should be at this age. I guess my son is a bit of a brute, he just sits and frowns all day. I like to think that he's just concentrating :)

Also last night he rolled over from his back to his tummy. He actually did this earlier this week in the middle of the night in his crib, imagine my panic when I woke up and he was on his tummy exactly how he's NOT supposed to be!!! But last night he did it again right in front of Josh. I hope it doesn't become habit though, I'm freaking obsessed with SIDS and most cases are in the 3rd month.

I've gotten lazy about pictures. I only took like 8 or something all of his 2nd month and havent taken any this week since he turned 3 months!!! I need to get on that. But here is one that Kelly was nice enough to take. Its Zeke and his friend Jaeden checking each other out.

I will try to take more pictures next week. And I will also try to get Josh to help me catch Zeke laughing on video.

Sleeping alone.

So Zeke sleeps alone now. In his own room. It was easier than I thought it would be. Ok, let me actually restate that. The first 2 nights it was much much much harder than I thought it would be. I was calming him down every 20 minutes or so, he just wouldn't settle down into a deep sleep, and I was ending up sleeping on the floor in his room. I almost gave up the idea entirely, and thought I'd have to let him sleep in our room for another few months, even though he is outgrowing his moses basket. I just don't believe in the whole cry-it-out thing. Its not worth that to me.

But then an idea struck me. The radio.

The last two nights with the radio on he has slept through the night, with one feeding at about 2 of course but he fed once in our room too so that's no different. Yipee!! Hopefully it continues this well. I don't know why the radio works but it does and I soo sooo dont care if he has it on. We still let him move to our bed at 5 or 6 in the morning when he wakes up for his morning feeding so that I can get my cuddles, and also a few more hours sleep. But other than that he is sleep-trained. Until teething, that is...

In other news, and even non-baby news (kind of) I got my new tattoo last week. It is almost healed now and completely pain free. It says Ezekiel in Hebrew and its on my wrist. Josh and I also went to Silverwood on Saturday with his company (the baby was a real trooper and never cried once all day). then on Sunday we had Risk night at our house. I played half the game and then Erik took over for me while I made dinner for everyone and put the baby to sleep. Erik and I won, of course, and in less than 5 hours which is quick for 6 player Risk. World domination is my specialty. So its been a pretty fun week, life is good when you are no longer sick ;)

Soon now we will start on Zeke's toyshelves. Josh and I are making them together. I have them all designed, the next step is to buy and cut the wood. Even though they are Zeke's Christmas present we want them finished before it gets too cold for the paint to set, also I want his room finished and a place to put toys. He doesn't know when Christmas is anyways right? I'm pretty excited. We haven't built anything together since our bedside tables. And that was a long time ago...over a year I bet.

Anyways, here are some pics quick before the baby wakes up from his nap, also a tour of his room so far.

Zeke and his best buddy Zebra on their new tummy mat. Thanks grandma Mel, we love it!!

Taking a nap in his crib.

His toyshelf will go right here :)


His bookshelf will go here!

The name sign auntie Jen made him!! Thanks Jen!! We are basing the shelf colors on this we love it so much!



The paintings I did for Z while I was prego.


oops, baby's awake!

the plague

Sorry its been a while since my last post. And sorry that this one wont have any pictures. But we have had the plague. That is right...the PLAGUE.

As soon as we got back from Boise Josh got sick. Really really sick. Then I got sick, but not too bad. Then Zeke got sick but also not too bad. Then Josh got better mostly (his throat still hurts now). Then I got WAY WAY worse. Then I started to pick up a little. So we are hoping Zeke doesnt get way worse now. I dont know. All he does is sleep, and fitfully at that. So between taking care of my husband and taking care of my baby and trying not to DIE myself, I haven't had the time to post.

And yeah, my whole plan of moving him into his own room when we got back from Boise? Toast. He's been in our bed pretty much constant since he got home...day and night honestly. The best laid plans of mice and men, huh? Instead of one giant leap forward we take a step back. Oh well, sick babies need the comfort and sick mommas do what they have to in order to survive.

We've had some firsts though. I clipped Zeke's finger for the first time. His poor little thumb. He didnt seem to notice but I am still filled with guilt. And Zeke squealed for the first time. It was at the sight of his zebra. That stupid Zebra got his first smile and his first squeal now. Seriously, it will be his first word and I will cry. Oh and Ezekiel's first runny nose with this sickness. Also daddy's first day in charge because he stayed home from work on my worste day and took care of the baby for me so I could get some rest. He only brought him to me when he was hungry, and on top of that made me soup and brought me meds every 4 hours. He even slept on my side of the bed so he'd be next to Zeke's bed if he needed anything. Which of course he did. I think he stayed in his bed until 3 that night, which was longer then I had ever lasted with him last week.

Next week I'll post some pictures. I promise.