I am a failure as a mother.

On two points.

A. I have passed on my genetic weaknesses to my son.

B. I then dont realize when said genetic weakness is making him really really sick. Really sick.

So yeah, remember Monday? I knew something was up, I knew Z wasnt himself. But there was no fever. And I didnt want to be "that mom". You know, the one that rushes her baby to the doctor because he's fussy and restless even though he doesn't have a fever, he's eating fine, and he's happy 70 percent of the time still. Well Monday night the fever started. And I said, well its one night, its only 101 which isnt that much for a baby really. I will give him Tylenol and call Dr Morgan in the morning.

A horrid night. A worse morning. I get an appointment for 11. Of course Zeke's totally cheerful. His ears are fine. His chest sounds great. He's not even teething. But Dr Morgan God bless him, after listening to me talk about his change of attitude and after taking his temp again (slightly high) says well maybe its something after all. We order a blood and urine test.

Well the blood test comes back with LOTS of white blood cells. The urine test lights up like a christmas tree. Dr Morgan calls to say to come to the hospital, he needs to be on an IV and he needs it now.

Evidently my son (after 2 days in the hospital now and scans and blood draws and xrays) has urinary reflux. Just. Like. Me. All that random screaming and nightwaking? He was probably trying to pee. Yeah, he's had a UTI for at least 2 weeks by the looks of it.

How was I supposed to know? He always cheered up. He never had a fever.....

I feel awful. Anyways, we get released tomorrow. Cross fingers, barring all changes. And Dr Morgan is giong to discuss with me where we go from here after he gets the results of his bladder scan. (I remember that scan. Its so awful to be on the other side of it. Although not nearly as awful as his side. I know. I remember.)

I will update later.


Jennspiration said...

Oh wow, I'm so glad you went to get things checked out. I hope things get better. Poor little guy...Poor mama! You are not a failure! You are doing great! Hang in there, ok?

Shooflea said... sad. It´s good that you guys figured out the problem though and now hopefully things will get better! I´ll be praying for you guys!

Stapletons03 said...

I'm sorry to hear that Courtney! You are a great Mom, it's hard to know what's wrong with them when they're that small. Hang in there and let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Kait Toompas said...

Oh Courtney! You're not a horrible mother! All moms try not to be "that mom" and at one time ending up being the one that looks terrible. Sort of the same thing happened with Joe when he was a little younger and he ended up busting his ear drum from having such a horrible ear infection.
You can't know what's going on with your babies and it is totally not your fault! I'll be praying for you and little Zeke... you're a wonderful Mom!
Let me know if you need anything!

Domrese Family Blog said...

Sorry it's been so rough! Good luck! We'll be thinking of you guys!