Two truths about my life right now:
1. I LOVE how Zeke loves me. I love all the cuddles and kisses and hugs I get and that he always wants to be held by me. I love that he always wants me to play with him, and that I am his best friend. And I really try to enjoy it. Sometimes I hold him his whole nap, just because he lets me. Sometimes I put off housework and we just play together all day long while dishes and laundry pile up. I know that this time is short and that in 20 years its the fun we will both remember and not the dishes in the sink.
2. I cant wait...CAN NOT WAIT...for Zeke to develop a little independence. I want to shower by myself. I want to go 2 hours without anyone touching me. I want him to PLAY BY HIMSELF every now and then.
Motherhood is both the most rewarding and most tiring thing I have ever done.
Although its been a good few days, and he gets more and more independent and less clingy all the time. He's almost a freaking toddler, and it hits me strong now that he's constantly doing this:
Other than walking being just around the corner there is other good news,
*WARNING, personal and if you are male maybe uncomfortable info to come*
The backstory: Ever since Zeke was born, and even more so ever since Zeke slowed his breastfeeding down and starting eating a lot of solids I've been a hormonal mess. Severe cramping, random bleeding/clotting, ovarian cysts left and right, and a disposition that might qualify my husband for sainthood. Not to mention anxiety attacks. Which I've always had a problem with but have had under control for YEARS. I mean, I had a few during my first trimester what with the hormones and the stress of previous miscarriage, but its been even worse now that my hormones are dropping then when they were building up.
The good news: I am now on a regular cycle and far far less crazy...at least 3 weeks out of the month. I havent had an anxiety attack in 6 weeks and I've had 2 normal periods normally spaced. I am soooo happy. Also, I'm pretty sure that means I'm ovulating again? So maybe we will have even more good news soon!