I was asked today if I ever feel like motherhood is drowning me. In fact quite a few of us were asked and there was a truly awkward silence afterwards in which we all wanted to scream "yes" yet didn't want to admit it. We coughed, or looked at our baby, or asked her what she meant, but we knew. We all know, us mothers of small children. And it slowly came out.
For my part all I could think was "of course". Of course I sometimes feel that way. We all do. Because the truth is that raising children (and especially babies) is a miracle and a blessing and a joy but it's also often exhausting and tedious and suffocating and thankless and boring and smelly. And maybe we would all be a bit happier if we admitted it.
At the least we'd be better prepared. Because it seems like pre-child I heard a lot about the baby entering my world not me entering his, or not forgetting who I am and keeping up my interests, and similar hokey. And it is hokey. Because when that baby comes it may still be your world, honey, but all the rules just changed. And not forgetting your interests is fine and dandy but at the end of the day you don't have the energy to shower let alone read. I'm no April Wheeler or anything but of course I sometimes feel like I'm drowning. (PS is anyone else afraid to see that movie because the book was so good?)