Many brave blogging souls post every Monday a "Not Me" segment, in which they list the things they most definitely "NEVER do". In a rash and unexpected fit of...lets call it honesty?....I will now admit for the first time ever my perfection. And its not even Monday.
I have NEVER nursed Zeke while going to the bathroom. Nope. Not me. Thats gross...and probably unsanitary.
And speaking of nursing, I have also NEVER EVER nursed him while I surfed the web because that is the only time he will ever sit still. And I really really don't do it every day. I'm totally not doing it right now. Because, you know, breast feeding is about bonding.
Another thing I've never ever done? I've never lost my baby under a couch. Or under a bed. Not me. I always know where my son is. I don't need muffled babbling to find him. Don't listen to Kait.
Another thing Kait will lie about? I've never melted a bottle nipple in my dish washer. I know to use one of those little plastic boxes. And if that did, you know, hypothetically speaking, happen once, I wouldn't run upstairs thinking my Christmas tree was on fire. I can smell the difference between plastic burning and pine burning. I didn't sniff the tree.
And I never, after hours and hours of my son babbling at THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, not hearing a single solitary grown voice ALL DAY LONG, yell "BAAA BAAAA BAAAA BAAAA, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?" I am an adult. I dont talk to a 5 month old like that.
I also bathe my baby every night. Even when House is on. And he totally gets dressed every day. Who do you think I am?
Now come on, tell me a few of YOUR finest Not Me moments.