I dreamt I got a full nights sleep...

...and woke up to a dream come true! Thank you, thank you to Jen (and Kim in all fairness also pointed it out, albeit in person) for letting me in on the now-obvious information that my son is teething! Moving him into our room didn't help Sunday night. But Monday night some Tylenol did! He was out like a rock till 1 am for a feeding and a re-dose and then straight back out till 4, repeat. Then till 6 when he always wakes up and I switch the boys in my bed. Not amazing but so much better! So Zeke is sleeping back in his room and Mommy is buying some Motrin (which works better for teeth/lasts longer).

I'd be so lost without you guys!

And to reiterate something that has come up a few times since Sunday and I guess I haven't fully explained: It's not that I'm 100 percent against crying it out. I think it has its place. But these are my thoughts. The point of any sleep training method is to teach your baby to sleep. This isn't knowledge we are born with, and the transition from wakefulness to sleep must be learned. I fear that when you teach your baby how to sleep by leaving him to cry (or scream) himself out before he's ever learned how to sleep, you are teaching him that sleep is a scary state to go into and setting yourself up in the long run for a bad sleeper, nightmares, ect. Since the Ferberization of our country kids' night terrors, bed wetting, and even sleep problems in adults have skyrocketed. I worry its related. And my biggerproblem is that you're not really teaching your child how to sleep so much as that you are teaching him "We are not listening to you, this isn't working, you might as well give up." Crying is Zeke's only form of communication. I want him to know I am responsive to it.

Now when Ezekiel becomes older and knows about and recognizes sleeping, and has other ways of communicating with me so I know if it's something like an ear ache, and even more importantly can understand me when I say "no it's time for bed and I will be right outside your door in my room, but you need to sleep now." Well then I'll probably let him yell if I have to. Because I know that he is just being ornery and trying to get up in the middle of the night. And my son is ornery, believe me, I will let him yell many times and for many things in his life, I am sure. I already do for his tantrums. I am a huge fan of ignoring/not responding to bad behavior. But for right now he is only starting to be ready for it, and his night crying wasn't tantrum crying, but his baby cry, so I chose to respond like I did.

For the record I'm not a huge fan of bed-sharing either. I also think this has it's place with newborns and sick children and occasional bad nights, or even very high need kids. But I don't think its the best full-time situation for most children. Again, its just not teaching your child to get himself to sleep.

This has always been my problem. I have no extremist cult following to go along with. But I think, in reality most people don't. We all try a little of everything until we find a blend that is truly ours. I do the two steps forward, one step back method. Zeke was in my bed until we were both recovered from birth, a few weeks. Then he was in his Moses basket next to my bed for part of the night, them most of the night, then all. When he went down to 2 or 3 wakings/feedings I moved him into his own room, mostly even then because he was outgrowing his basket. In hindsight I think it was a bit early. But the point is this has all been a 2 steps forward, one step back deal. If he wasn't doing well that night or that week we went back to the old way for a while. And I always do the smallest amount of comforting necessary but at the same time as much as is necessary, ie if just whispering "your ok, Zekers, go back to sleep" puts him back out, that's all I do, next I try rubbing his back, then and only THEN will I pick him up. This sleep training method, if you want to call it that, means less sleep for me, probably. For now. But its teaching him gently to be independent, and I think will pay off in the end when I hopefully have a great sleeping toddler.

At the least it works for us. Which is what matters. It might also work with the next one, it might not. It might work but take WAAAY longer to get to each new step. Who knows. But I will try everything again, with a better feel for what I like due to experience, until I find the blend that works for me at THAT time. That much I know.

See you tomorrow for Whats for Dinner Wednesday! I'm making rice pilaf and honey chicken. And I'm even going to do an extra this week so I have one to post while I'm in Boise!

And totally unrelated. Look how cute our Christmas picture is! Thanks to Kait! She is a photo taking wizard! Im mailing out Christmas cards today so watch out for them!


Kait T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kait T said...

Excuse me, I believe I told you he sounded like he was teething and Kim only agreed and then recommended motrin. :P
I saw Adobe Element at costco this morning for 79.00! My husband didn't buy it for me, but my birthday is only about 7 weeks away! :)
Want to pick me up tonight on your way north?

Stapletons03 said...

Awesome family picture!!

Domrese Family Blog said...

Love the family photo!

I read a book when stressing about the boys sleeping habits. Our sleep method falls into "Chef Special" meaning that one night they fall asleep quickly on their own, one night they come in at 3:00 AM and sleep with us, sometimes they sleep on the floor of their room with their fingers under the door while I hold their hand, it just depends on the night and the situation. Congrats on getting your nights sleep!!!!

Kim said...

Excuse me Kait, I do believe that it was I who said teething. Or more yelled it like a know it all when you said Zeke wasn't sleeping through the night Courtney!! :P But I guess what matters almost as much as who had the right answer is that Zeke is sleeping better for you now. :D

I completely agree with you about the sleep training. I realized after I left yesterday that it sounded like I was a major supporter of cry it out, when in fact I am not. We only used it to get Preston to go to bed at bedtime by himself and I never let him cry for an extended amount of time and went only 5 mintutes at most before going in to comfort him and tell him that it was bedtime repeatedly until he fell asleep. And I still haven't implemented it for naptime or middle of the night wakeups because I just don't want him to think that when he needs me I won't be there. I figure eventually he will get there and for now I can handle being slightly sleep deprived. At least some days I can.

Now that I've written a whole book, I can't wait to get out tonight. I am so looking forward to it!!!

Kim said...

And I completely love your picture, Kait does wonderful work doesn't she?!?!

Jennspiration said...

Oh my gosh, that Christmas family photo is BEAUTIFUL!!! I would blow it up and frame it if I were you!!! By the way...my doc always told me I could alternate Motrin and Tylenol every 3 or 4 hours...you may want to check with your pediatrician though.

Sheila Clark said...

What a gorgeous family photo! Love it!