I had a really good feeling about today. A really good feeling.
Like "Today is THE day".
I had a good night's sleep. I was full of energy (for the first time in a looong time). I showered and did some yoga, ate a big breakfast and drank my pregnancy tea. I went over to a friend's new apartment to visit and let our kids play. I came home and still had so much energy that even though I have been really committing myself to taking naps with Zeke everyday (so as to not be too exhausted should I go into labor) I just couldn't get to sleep. So instead you could find me on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor with a sponge. That felt so good I moved on to the baseboards of the entire main floor. Then I did the bathroom, and the dishes, and a couple loads of laundry.
I also cleaned up 4...that's right FOUR...different areas where my cat threw up. Apparently she is sick? She also peed on Josh and I's bed (hence the laundry). But even THAT couldn't get me down today.
Now it's 4 o clock. Zeke has been up from his nap for an hour and the house is completely and utterly spotless. As in there is not a single thing left to clean anywhere. I might move on to organizing a few cupboards. Because I am STILL full of energy.
And the funniest part? I'm also STILL not in labor. Which pretty much crosses off my good feeling about today. I only have 8 hours left after all. Yet I haven't fallen into my characteristic 4 o clock ice-cream eating depression. I keep waiting for it to start. I should be really really mad that I'm not in labor. I was so SURE after all. And then I went to all this work and got nothing out of it. Except a clean house, of course.
Maybe I have finally found my zen? I told Josh yesterday I feel like no matter how hard I try I cant find seem to find an emotional balance. I am either elated or I am depressed. Either the baby is coming right away or else I will be pregnant forever. Have I found stasis?
Or is this just the elation before the biggest storm?