updates and pictures

First let me recap my mother's day for everyone, it was excellent, though I haven't had a chance to write about it yet. I woke up last in the family and was made cinnamon rolls, yum! And later we went and had a lovely picnic at Manito Park, the boys had a nap (see above), and we had some friends over for a kabob dinner (yipee for not cooking a single meal all day long! or not changing a single diaper!) Zeker's got me some flowers that he and daddy cut from the backyard as well as a new wind chime.

Mostly I was struck this Mother's day by all the mom's harping at their kids at the playground. Honestly, its mother's day, a day set aside to enjoy your roll as a mom and all these women could do was yell at their daughter for sitting in the sand in their dress. I really hope I'm never that mother, or at least that mother as little as possible. I want to enjoy my kids. I want to be the fun mom as much as I can and let the little things (like sandy dresses) go.

Monday was not as excellent. Poor Zeke had a rough go of it. This may be his BEST expression of the day. I dont really know what was wrong. Part of me thinks its the fact that he is teething about 4 teeth at once. Another part of me thinks its the fact that my milk supply is all but gone. And I honestly cant tell if I think its teething to help me not feel guilty OR if I think its my milk supply because I DO feel so guilty. Maybe its a little of both? Either way he was screaming much of the day and just so soo frusterated. He kept chewing on my collar bone, which is really annoying and what Zeke does whenever he is super beyond control frusterated with something.

I just feel so bad for him. And I feel soo soooo guilty for not having any milk now that I am pregnant. He turns a year in about a month now, so its not like he didnt have a decent run but I never planned on weaning him this early.

And compounding my guilt over all of this is the fact that I'm a little relieved my milk is running out. If I could do something to make it come back I'm not sure that I would because...well...it hurts nowadays. I'm so sore I honestly dont want him anywhere near there. And as much as I respect tandem nursers and really believe that its a great thing to do (especially when your kids are so close together) I just dont think I could handle it.

So here I am, failing to meet the needs of both my children already. And one of them isn't even close to being born.

Today has gone better. He's starting to take a bottle of milk now (only in a bottle and only if its warmed but, hell, I'd do anything at this point) when I "offer" to nurse and he realizes there is just not enough there. So its still going: try to nurse, get frusterated, accept bottle. But I have hope that soon enough he will skip the first two steps and just realized that a bottle is his fate. Poor kid.

We also went to Chuck E Cheese with Kim and Preston and Zeke had a blast eating pizza and follwing Preston around like a puppy.

I keep getting surprised at how big he is growing and how smart he is. Not only can he play ski ball (see above) but he learned 2 other new things this week.

First, he's really getting the hang of his fine motor skills. He's feeding himself with a fork/spoon AND he's coloring. Check out my little Picasso.

Second, now when we play hide and seek Zeke can not only find me when I hide but then he runs off to hide himself. Here he is hiding underneath a book. It took me forever to find him, lol.

So there is my news. The ups and downs of motherhood I guess.


Bullfrogs & Butterflies Baby said...

Try not to beat yourself up too much about the nursing. I nursed all 4 of mine (still nursing the youngest)...each is less than 2 years apart from the next. You've done very well by Zeke. Beside, too much nipple stimulation can actually lead to miscarriage in some cases. He'll come around to the bottle and never remember that it wasn't his 1st choice :)

Lucy S. said...

Question: what are you giving him in the bottle, formula or cow's milk? Just curious, because I am in the same boat as you, and my son is 11 months so not sure what direction to go in. Let me know. Thanks.

coco-ono said...

Lucy- I decided to go ahead and give him cow's milk. I figured he's so close to 1 and I don't think 4 weeks will really make a difference in his intestinal maturity. Plus formula has such a distinct flavor I didn't want to get him used to it, just to switch him over in a matter of weeks. This is all just my opinion, though.

Nicole said...

Courtney - You are doing such a good job with Zeke...give yourself a break on the nursing thing...no harm done at all! It's change, and change can be hard sometimes, but change is coming with a new baby anyways...may as well ease into some of the changes now ! ;-) You are an awesome mom, and Zeke is lucky to have you as a mom!