So my feelings on being pregnant again mostly run as follows:
I think that's all I've really gotten to quite yet. None of it is really real yet, to tell you the truth. Questions I've been asked and are happy to answer:
When are you due? January. Ever since Zeke came 2+ weeks late I've lost faith in "due dates". So this time around we will have a due month.
How far apart will your kids be? 18 or 19 months depending on if he's a little or a lot late.
You said "he", do you want a boy? I think I do. As much as it would be fun to experience the whole girl thing, I also think it would be fun to experience brothers. Also, I feel like its a boy so I'm setting myself to be happiest with what I have.
Will you find out the sex? Nope. We figure since this time around we already HAVE some clothes we will be surprised and just let her wear boy clothes for a few weeks if it turns out to be a girl after all.
Are you still planning on a crazy home-birth? We don't know. I know that's what I want. Josh isnt sure what HE wants yet, however, and I've told him that I also want him to be comfortable with this so its up to him and his feelings after we interview a couple midwives. We HAVE decided to rule out another hospital birth (that is as long as things go according to plan and the baby and I are healthy). So if its NOT at home its going to be at a local birthing center. Its not that I necessarily regret the decisions I made with Zeke's birth, I know that I did the best that I could with the information that I had at the time. But I also know that I dont want to repeat those decisions or that experience. And I also know that in order to achieve that goal I need a provider that 1. I trust and more importantly 2. Trusts me and trusts my body to be able to do this, even if my baby is "big" and/or "late". I want the freedom to labor out of the norm and the stress-free enviroment of not assuming anything is wrong until there is actually evidence that something is wrong and the hospital culture right now unfortunately doesnt allow either.
What about Zeke's breastfeeding? Are you going to wean him? Eventually. Already my milk supply is low so I'm kind of waiting to see if I lose it completely and Zeke subsequently loses interest. It would be an easy out. If I'm not so lucky and I hit 20 or so weeks with Z still regularly breastfeeding I think I WILL actively wean, however. I've considered tandem nursing (nursing both kids at once) and decided that honestly I dont think I can handle it. It makes me feel guilty but at the same time its learning my boundaries and a part of good motherhood. Of course if weaning becomes a nightmare I might rethink my abilities/boundaries but lets all just hope that when my supply drops Zeke decides he's better off with food.
Are we still buying Zeke a puppy for his birthday? No. Not at all. Actually Im not sure I told very many people I was planning on this. But either way, Josh and I decided a puppy is most definitely OUT.