Thoughts

So my feelings on being pregnant again mostly run as follows:

Excitement. Overwhelm-ment.

I think that's all I've really gotten to quite yet. None of it is really real yet, to tell you the truth. Questions I've been asked and are happy to answer:

When are you due? January. Ever since Zeke came 2+ weeks late I've lost faith in "due dates". So this time around we will have a due month.

How far apart will your kids be? 18 or 19 months depending on if he's a little or a lot late.

You said "he", do you want a boy? I think I do. As much as it would be fun to experience the whole girl thing, I also think it would be fun to experience brothers. Also, I feel like its a boy so I'm setting myself to be happiest with what I have.

Will you find out the sex? Nope. We figure since this time around we already HAVE some clothes we will be surprised and just let her wear boy clothes for a few weeks if it turns out to be a girl after all.

Are you still planning on a crazy home-birth? We don't know. I know that's what I want. Josh isnt sure what HE wants yet, however, and I've told him that I also want him to be comfortable with this so its up to him and his feelings after we interview a couple midwives. We HAVE decided to rule out another hospital birth (that is as long as things go according to plan and the baby and I are healthy). So if its NOT at home its going to be at a local birthing center. Its not that I necessarily regret the decisions I made with Zeke's birth, I know that I did the best that I could with the information that I had at the time. But I also know that I dont want to repeat those decisions or that experience. And I also know that in order to achieve that goal I need a provider that 1. I trust and more importantly 2. Trusts me and trusts my body to be able to do this, even if my baby is "big" and/or "late". I want the freedom to labor out of the norm and the stress-free enviroment of not assuming anything is wrong until there is actually evidence that something is wrong and the hospital culture right now unfortunately doesnt allow either.

What about Zeke's breastfeeding? Are you going to wean him? Eventually. Already my milk supply is low so I'm kind of waiting to see if I lose it completely and Zeke subsequently loses interest. It would be an easy out. If I'm not so lucky and I hit 20 or so weeks with Z still regularly breastfeeding I think I WILL actively wean, however. I've considered tandem nursing (nursing both kids at once) and decided that honestly I dont think I can handle it. It makes me feel guilty but at the same time its learning my boundaries and a part of good motherhood. Of course if weaning becomes a nightmare I might rethink my abilities/boundaries but lets all just hope that when my supply drops Zeke decides he's better off with food.

Are we still buying Zeke a puppy for his birthday? No. Not at all. Actually Im not sure I told very many people I was planning on this. But either way, Josh and I decided a puppy is most definitely OUT.

6 comments:

Night Owl Mama said...

congratulations on being pregnant. I have two boys close together. They are 2 yrs and a few months apart. I wanted a girl in the beginning but love the relationship my two boys have. A blessing is a blessing right?!
Good luck with deciding on where you'll have your birth for me I always had complications and thankful in the right place for emergency action to take place. It difficult in the beginning but you get into the grove of things. Breastfeeding at 20m wow. COngratulations ...this is my last child and we are going on 14 m. don't see him loosing interest anytime soon. Take Care sorry for the book

the-questess said...

HUGE HUGE HUGE recommendation for Cathy (Weston, the gal from Mindful Mamas) to be your midwife. I started with Linda Marks at the local birth center and ended up switching to Cathy. I am SO glad I made the switch. I wasn't very comfortable with Linda and she's kinda medical and less into that whole "trust your body, trust yourself" thing. I know she does coached pushing and cervical checks and all of that.

Cathy is just amazing, and she's SO hands off. I never had a single cervical check, and she wasn't even in the room when Kalli was born! I caught her myself... and then we had a few complications and Cathy stepped in and saved the day. It was so perfect, she knew when to hang back and when to step up and take charge.

My birth story is here:
http://community.livejournal.com/naturalbirth/1010290.html

And feel free to share it with Josh if you think he'd be interested. Also, since he sorta knows me, he's welcome to ask me any questions he has, or even ask my husband. At first my husband was pretty worried about doing an out-of-hospital birth. Then I managed to convince him to go for the birth center (although really that's just like a home birth, except at someone else's home), but then he got totally on-board for a home birth. In fact, he really started advocating it and standing up for us when his family was begging us to go to the hospital!

Alexia said...

Congrats on baby #2! I've got two boys that are 14m apart and it's great because they always have someone around to play with. It's given me more time to do other stuff with out a child hanging on my leg :)

Home births are amazing! Both of my boys were born at home and it was just so comfortable! (as comfortable as labor can be LOL) I enjoyed being surrounded by my stuff and not having the pressure of doctors and cold tile floors and having to drive home later.

Grandma Jane said...

HAPPY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY!!!! We are so excited about your newest surprise. Anne and your Dad, Bill were 18 months apart and they were such great friends and played together constantly.....until they were teenagers that is, that's another story for another time. CONGRATULATIONS!

Jennspiration said...

Peyton and Ashton are 20 months apart and while it was hard in the beginning they are really starting to play well with one another! Congrats again!

Life'sJourney said...

Congratulations!! I had my third baby last January and it was wonderful!! I had two girls and hoped for a third because I was in "girl mode" and boy's can, let's face it, be a little gross at times...lol. I now have a boy and I love it beyond belief!! Either a boy or girl a new baby has many joys and it will be so fun for you to experience them again!!