Joy

Truly.

It feels so soo nice to be able to blog about normal life stuff again. To have a normal life again. Moving seemed to be everything I thought about for a while and for a day and a half now its been business as usual.

And I find surprisingly that business as usual fills me with pure joy. It's wonderful to be back on Zeke and I's schedule, as if the week or so long break from the norm has allowed me to breath deep and really appreciate my life, my son, and my pregnancy now that its back.

The little blueberry hasn't actually been that easy to appreciate, lately, to tell the truth. The extreme morning sickness of my pregnancy with Zeke seems to be repeating itself now that I'm a little further along (8 weeks by my counting). But I'm trying to remember that morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, a sign I didn't enjoy when I miscarried, and a price that is totally worth it in the end. So I try to eat food as nutritive as possible so that what I AM able to keep down is worthwhile and do my best to stay hydrated. I hadnt planned on weighing myself during this pregnancy but I may do that as well. Since I'm not breastfeeding its not as hard as it would have been to get enough calories but I dont want to drop the 15 or 20 pounds I did with Zeke if I can help it.

and maybe its the fact that I'm actually feeling the signs of pregnancy now or maybe its the fact that Josh and I have had a few weeks to think to ourselves, "soon there will be 2 of them" but we're starting to get a little nervous these days as well. We're so used to 1 child, passing him back and forth. How will we cope with 2? And only 17 or 18 months apart? We take turns being the nervous one and the one who knows we can handle it, as is our usual way. In any sucesful mariage only 1 spouse can be freaking out at a time and Josh and I have found a balance of waiting our turn over the years. But mostly we are staying confident in some mutual beliefs: that God will only give as much as we can handle and that babies are ALWAYS a blessing.

Zeke is being much easier to appreciate. He's more of a toddler and less of a baby every day and now that he walks more then he crawls its showing more and more. Its bittersweet but its also great source of joy to me lately. Every stage has been better than the last partly just for the newness of it but also partly because I'm not much of a baby person, I dont quite know what to do with them. Ive always LOVED toddlers however and Zeke has all the curiosity, stubbornness, and copy-cat tendancies of the toddler now.

We are learning to really watch out step because Zeke will suddenly do just about anything he sees mommy or daddy do.

In fact yesterday after watching me plant some winter squash (hopefully not too late for an october harvest) he very carefully took the seeds out of the kitchen, walked them over to a planter that was on the deck, and stuffed them right in the dirt. He was too proud of himself for me to reprimand but I WAS rather careful to get all the seeds out when he was done.