New Pictures

No news, its been a boring week so far I guess because I have nothing to say about the past 4 days at all. Just thought I'd put up some pictures since Ezekiel is refusing to be put down and driving me absolutely bonkers. I think he woke up from his nap on the wrong side of the crib or something. Oh well for mopping today, my floors can just be dirty.

This was taken earlier this week, the result of Zeke's newest game, entitled I Want Whatever Mommy Has. It started with my food. That's classic. Then the crochet hooks, I got that, they are shiny and easy to hold. Then there was the apple he held all day long. But a can of tomato sauce? I put my foot down at the cheese grater one night, which started off Zeke's very first fit.

I love this game, really.



















Here is one of Zeke's new booties. Now that Zeke naps with me I've been a crocheting fool. Oh yeah, did I mention that yet? Yes, my son who sleeps 10 hours every night alone in his crib with only 1 or 2 wake-ups refuses to nap alone...AT ALL. Trust me, I've tried. So I spend 2 or 3 hours a day now either reading or crocheting...sometimes I watch TV or get on the net, all while holding him.

Fighting him during the day was messing him up at night. And I LOVE our nights recently. So I gave in. He'll outgrow it and its getting me caught up on the Viscount de Bragelonne.















And this is that hat I mentioned, cute huh? I'm making a few more for Zeke's friends soon. I also need to find a cute girl hat to make Molly too. She will only marry Zeke if I bribe her lol. Or at least bribe her mom!






































Isn't this adorable? Kim took it at the Arboreum and I just love it for some reason.














Zeke playing.














Playing with his toes and *kind of* sitting up. I don't think he will ever really sit up. He gets so mad when you make him try. Trust me, this lasted about 6 seconds for the picture. He flops right over, and when you try to pull him back up he locks his knees so you cant.

I don't know why I bother, he's such a stinker. He wont ever try anything until HE wants to.

The wonders of Josh

Im a bit bored at the moment, the baby is asleep and my husband at home depot. So I will use this as an excuse to publicly humiliate him. I was just looking at pictures today, trying to pick what I will use for the collage I am putting up in the kitchen (that big empty wall is finally getting to me). And I thought, hey, why not do a history of Josh? Pretty much my husband over the last 4 years with various stages of facial hair.

The respectable days... Josh HATES that last picture. Its part of why I love it so much. I will admit he did not put on the hat willingly.

Perhaps turning into a pirate?

I take it back... a mountain man.

Or a cuban?

Haha. I just love it. I should keep taking pictures of him, I haven't been as often lately. Not only do I fully enjoy them but I bet Zeke will someday too.

Anyways, all of this beside I have accomplished things this week, really. I finished a bunch of wash clothes and another hat for Zeke. And this one is REALLY cute, I followed a pattern and everything, which I've never done before. I'm making some matching booties and then I will take a picture. Also I made applesauce. And canned it and everything. It is gorgeous, if I do say so myself. ;) And I do.

Arboretum

Zeke refused to be happy even though I went to the Arboretum specifically to get good pictures. I think he was cold to be honest. Oh well, next year perhaps? Kelly and Kim were bribing their boys and it seemed to work fairly well...too bad Zeke is too little to bribe! I'd be all over that. Next year I'll try again...with jelly beans. Thanks for meeting me anyways girls!

Pumpkin Patch

Wow, I finished those photos fast. What can I say? Zeke took a long nap yesterday and I don't clean on Sundays.

Also a size update since we got shots this morning: Zeke is 17 pounds 3 ounces and 27.5 inches tall. 90th and 95th+ percentiles respectively. We have an inch and a half in our carseat left. We may have to buy a new one before Thanksgiving....

Greenbluff

Josh and I went to Greenbluff yesterday. Sadly it was our first trip this year! Zeke was too young for me to attempt it, so we missed the strawberries, and the cherries, and the peaches, and the tomatoes :( We had a lot of fun however and picked apples, and a pumpkin, and even got some late prunes. We both agreed that next year we will make up for it by going an extra lot. Plus, how much fun will it be when Zeke can enjoy it more? I must say, even this time he was pretty pleased, he loves being outdoors so much. Next year will be even better.

Me picking apples.
Zeke wanted an apple to hold.

Ok, Zeke wanted LOTS of apples to hold! He laughed as I kept piling them in with him.

Josh looking for prunes.

Zeke wanted a prune too but I had to take it away when he tried to eat it.

When we got home Ezekiel STILL wanted to hold at least one apple. He thought it was a really fun toy until he got bored and threw it across the kitchen, giving it a big ol bruise. Oh well.

We also got some really great pictures of Zeke in the pumpkins. You don't get any of those today because they, along with some more I will take later this week, will be his "4 month" pictures so I'm taking the time to work on them a little in photoshop before I "reveal" them.

Its my goal to finish them this week, though, so don't get too anxious. I will also be making and canning applesauce for Zeke. Or at least trying! I'll admit I've never canned anything in my life, nor even SEEN anything canned. It might be interesting. I said, "How hard can it be?" and Josh gave me one of those looks that he likes to give me when I'm biting off more than I can chew. He knows better than to say anything but I know that look! I will show him. I can do anything with the Lord who gives me strength, also with a combination of wiki-how and youtube.

Thoughts

I have been struck by many thoughts the past few days.

1. I wished the old wives tales were true and starting solids meant longer breaks between feedings. But then I was glad they weren't (or at least aren't for my little fatty) since cereal is pretty much nutritionally useless, even the expensive organic whole-grain stuff that I buy. Also call me crazy but I really really enjoy breastfeeding. It's becoming the only time my son will cuddle me. All he wants these days is to play. Josh has started wrestling with him and its so hilarious to watch, Zeke just loves it.

Sorry, my train of thought kind of de-railed.

2. I wondered when it will hit Zeke that we are two separate people. I read this happens anytime between 6-12 months. Then I wondered when it will hit me. I've been away from him a few times now. Josh and I have had "dates", also I get my mom's night once a month. But it always feels strange. I dont know if I will ever feel completely separate from him.

3. A call today: Me "Hello?". On the line "Hi, sweetie..." What is sadder? That Dr Morgan's nurse calls me sweetie and starts reminding me about Z's appointment Monday before even introducing who she is or that it was unnecessary because I recognized that is was her? We are in that office WAY too much.


Also I've been thinking a lot about school for Zeke. (Yes, I am the mom that starts thinking about this when her son is 4 months old) I really really want to get him into Montessori but let's face it, there is no guarantee that Zeke will be accepted, it's a very competitive program and no matter how much breast milk and Faulkner I stuff into that child he is going to be who he is going to be. I am also considering the APPLE program, its less competitive but requires a LOT of parent kissing-up (serving on boards, volunteering in the classroom) to be accepted. Its really intriguing to me, however, and I think might be well worth it. Then there is also Catholic school (the only private we can afford) some of which around here are very well though-of. Then of course public is always an option, its kind of hit and miss in Spokane but worlds better than anything I grew up with in Idaho and if Josh and I are careful when we buy a house we could end up in a district better than any alternative choice.

Just a lot to consider. And absolutely useless right now because hey, its like 6 years away. Also so much will affect the choice that cant be anticipated like what public school we are assigned to and Zeke's personality. An independent child would thrive in Montessori, on the other hand APPLE would allow me to be much much more involved and would be a better transition for a more needy kid. Then I was thinking that it would also depend on how many more I had at home at the time, what kind of effort I could really put into it.

Which led me to the real thought. I've always wanted a huge family. 4, 5, 6 kids. But now I'm wondering if that's still true. I mean, a lot of kids would be great. But I want to do so much for my children. I want them to have so many opportunities. And the sad but very true fact is, there is only so much "me" to go around. I can give a lot more to 2 or even 3 children then I could to 4 or 5. I mean, number 5 is not going to be read to every day like Ezekiel has been, he wouldn't get any of the alone time Zeke has enjoyed. If I've got 4 others at home, I can't volunteer in Zeke's classroom or go on field trips or help him with his homework as often. Josh and I could handle 2 playing soccer or hockey or whatever but probably not 5.

I know a lot of the above isn't really important. You don't have to play soccer to be a well balanced human ect. But its something I'd like to do. And I know lot of mom's have quite a few children (or plan to) and handle it wonderfully, their kids do get time each and they do handle all the conflicting schedules with grace. Some of you read this blog. Go you, seriously. I'm not saying YOU cant do it. I'm saying maybe I cant.

Just a thought.

Sucess!

Zeke slept 8 and a half hours straight last night! Wow! (after 6 hours I made Josh check his breathing because I was too scared to)

And then today a successful 2 and a half hour nap! Ok, Ok, all but the first 45 minutes were in my arms while I read. But I am happy anyways.

oh so many updates

An update on Zeke's allergies: I can now officially eat cheese. We have tried it on numerous occasions now with no dire effects. Milk- not so much. While he didn't scream and scream like he used to, he still had pretty bad gas and some nasty diapers. I figure he couldn't have been comfortable. But we are on our way!

An update on his kidneys: We are now only once a day meds. Although we have been switched to a new kind and Zeke is NOT a fan. I dont blame him, it smells like cough syrup.

An update on sleeping: Since implementing my new plan, nights have been awesome! Once we started a schedule and routine he went right back to his old 8 o clock bedtime, which I LOVE because it gives Josh and I some "us" time. He wakes up once around 2 in order to eat and moves into our bed between 5 and 7 the second time he wakes up. Then he sleeps with me until 8. We are pretty much were we were a month ago, to be honest. A trip and a sickness and another sickness threw us all off. Also, his new non-napping made things a lot harder.

And naps, surprisingly, are still a stickler. Who ever heard of a baby that sleeps at night well but doesn't nap? I thought those were easier!

Anyways, I haven't been allowing any sleeping past 5 o clock because it throws off his night. The problem was he was just taking 15 minute snoozes here and there all day and then crashing at 6 and napping 2 hours and waking up at 8. So what I've been doing this week is any time he gets tired from 12-4 I encourage it and try to get him to take a nap. Still 15 minutes later he is up.

So what has been happening is that in the later afternoon I give up any chance of him napping and lay down with him. Then he will nap for an hour, two hours, even three hours. This is great but I cant lay down with him every day! But at the same time he HAS to have a nap or its meltdown city, and I think 2 even would be best.

Soooo, I will pick a time this week (or maybe 2 times) where I will really commit to napping. I will feed and rock and put him in his crib with his sleeping blanket (this was designated to be a sleep association earlier in our struggles). When he wakes up in 15 minutes I will rock again. And again. And again if I have to. Until he has slept at least an hour. I will get nothing done during this time but the plan is just to get him used to sleeping during the day. Sleeping by himself will be the next step.

This is pretty much how I've been night training. And if I can do it at night, I am sure I can do it during the day!

By the way, here are some great pictures! Just being super cute, plus his newest hat. Although I have to take a hat-break to make some washclothes. Now that he is eating solids I need some!

sleep

I update my blog far too much lately.

Anyways, now that Zeke is healthy and back at home and life is somewhat normal I am finally going to put him on that schedule I've been considering. I really really enjoyed him doing his own thing. You know, falling asleep when he felt like it and all. It used to work. He woke up around 8, napped thru-out the day, and went to bed at 8.

But these days its not working. Mostly because he doesn't fall asleep anymore. He's become far far too busy for such things apparently. Sometimes he'll take a good nap at like 6pm (yes, that late nap that all mothers know about and dread) Then he's up until 11. Most days he just sleeps 15 minutes here and there. And he's cranky. And I'm cranky. Also Josh is cranky because he comes home to 2 very cranky people.

Sooooo. 2 naps a day, buddy. From here on out! (haha, Im probably dreaming!)

The plan is thus: I figure he almost always wakes up between 8 and 8:30 (except crazy mornings like this one when he slept in until almost 10...but he was also up until almost 2 am...yeah...). But Anyways, if he wakes up around 8 I can get him to stay up until 12 easy. We are very busy in the mornings and generally head home from somewhere or another around that time. He always falls asleep in the car. I cant stop this so I will use it. It will be his first nap. Today this worked wonders. He woke up in his seat when we got home but it was easy to just nurse him back down.

Then he'll do a second nap at like 4 I think. I'm not sure about this yet. It may not be long enough from his first one for him to accept it, but I don't want it to be too late or he wont go to sleep and while Josh and I aren't totally set on 8 like it used to be we want him down by 9 at least. And he definately needs 2 naps Im pretty sure. He's only 4 months.

THEN at 8 or 8:30 we will reinstate out bedtime routine! We kinda did this for a while but then realized it was silly since he went to sleep with or without it. But we will re-instate because this is important in all the books. I think mine will go bath, nurse, and rock (with book or songs). Even though most books say NOT to nurse and NOT to rock...I dont care. Their reasoning is you don't want to do it forever but I wont mind nursing at night until he's 18 months or so and Im sure he'll oppose rocking before I do!

So yeah, sound good?

Any advice?

First food!

A STORY IN PICTURES

Hey, what are you two doing?


Are you going to feed me?


Heres me and my cereal!


Give it to me!!!


Oh that's good!


I want more!

Aaaaaaand a video!




PS, Yes that is a measuring spoon. I was not following the 7 P's and hadn't bought a baby spoon yet. My dad always said, prior proper planning prevents piss-poor performance! (I heard that a LOT, and now so does Josh, and soon so will Zeke though it might become 6 P's...piss really isn't an appropriate word...)

So just Saturday I was telling Melanie (Ezekiel's grandma) that I thought Zeke might be ready for some food (or at least some very watery cereal) but I wanted to wait until his meds were 1 time a day instead of 3 times, i.e. next week. You see, though I'd planned on waiting another month (when he's 5 months) to introduce solids, Zeke has been getting hungrier and hungrier at night. Nursing sometimes an hour straight and then again 2 hours later! Plus he's been watching me eat and mimicking my motions like opening my mouth and chewing. And forever grabbing my food. All signs of solid readyness, though he cant sit in his highchair yet without slumping over.

But like I said, his meds are 3 times a day currently and the nurses warned me might upset his tummy till hes used to them. So I thought we will try next week when he hits 4 months and is on the meds only once a day.

Then Saturday night Zeke nursed and nursed and nursed. And I was empty, and he was still hungry! This has never happened before! Not even close! So we thawed a bottle and he ate another 3 ounces! Then Sunday night it looked like it would happen again! So out came the fancy organic cereal. And let me tell you Zeke loved it! (It actually doesn't taste bad, it was really sweet, although this is probably because I made it with breastmilk and my breastmilk is somehow vanilla flavored. Its kind of gross its so sweet.) Any-whos he kept leaning forward and opening his mouth for more so he must have liked it. And for a first feeding he swallowed quite a bit of it, he really had the tongue motion down!

This morning I made it a bit thicker (I think it was too thin last night but I didn't want him to choke) and he gobbled 2 Tbl down at once without breathing it seemed! So he must have been ready. Its so much fun. In a few weeks we'll do vegetables!

Dr Morgan gave me a kind of ridiculous feeding schedule that I will probably follow to a T because Im a first-time mom and rather fond of schedules.
1st month- cereal morning and night.
2nd month- cereal morning, veggie night.
3rd month- cereal and fruit morning, veg afternoon, veg and fruit at night.
4th month- cereal and fruit, veg and fruit, meat and veg

I dont know what happens after this. I'll be tired of such a strict schedule and do whatever I want, probably. Josh thinks this will happen before 4 months. Maybe. I wouldn't be suprised. Once he can eat small chunks it'll be a lot easier to pick bits from my food to give him. I'm a really healthy eater so I don't see why not.

And now a picture just for fun!
Tom Cruise ain't got nothing on this baby!


As if I could really tell a picture in stories huh? You knew I'd also write forever! A picture may be worth 1,000 words but so are 1,000 words right?

So about the relux

I've been getting a lot of questions. And I realized not everyone was around when I was little and had this problem and therefor dont know what urinary reflux is sooo....

The "real" name is vesicoureteral reflux. In a normal person when the kindeys flush urine into the bladder a little flap over the connecting tube flaps shut to prevent any subsequent swirling from going back into the kidneys. Zeke's flap doesn't flap shut. Therefor when there is swirling (which there always is, Im told) some urine goes back into his kidneys. This happens again and again and again. So bacteria builds up. So he gets a urinary tract infection, or UTI.

Too many UTI's are bad. Because of a few reasons.
A. They are painful and generally suck.
B. They are hard to catch in babies, they cant tell you it hurts to pee and by the time you get a fever from one its pretty hard-core.
C. if you get too many you get major kidney scarring and become desensitized so you can no longer feel the pain and don't know when you have a UTI anymore. (this has happened to me)

So to stop Zeke from getting them constantly he will take amoxicillin (sp?) everyday. (By the way, he loves this stuff. its so sweet the smell makes me sick but he just opens wide for more.)
We will also see a specialist once a year for a special x-ray called, wait for it, a voiding cystourethrogram. What they do is put a tube up Zeke's penis into his bladder and then shoot a special liquid that will show on the x-ray thru the tube. They take pictures as the bladder fills and then as Zeke urinates. This shows the reflux and will let us know when Zeke has grown out of it. They also really really suck, they are the scans I've been talking about remembering so fondly.

So I hope that answers all questions.

Also here are some pics of Zeke at the hospital before we took out his IV. I think the get-up they had to put over it to keep him from chewing on it is hilarious, personally. It seems like every nurse shift took one look at him chewing away and added more. When we took it off there was a HUGE pile of tape, some cotton usually used for splints, half of a pill-cup, and some of that spider-man netting.

Were going home!

De ja vu right? I think I already have a post of that title dated 3 months ago...

So Dr Morgan says we are going home with some low dose antibiotics (oral) after our last round of IV antibiotics at 12. The plan thus far is he will take these for a few years probably. Once a year we will go in for a cosult and bladder scan with our new specialist Dr Star. The hope is that he will outgrow the urinary reflux sooner or later, prolly when he's 3-6. Dr Star says he's a level 2 so he'd be really really suprised if he didnt outgrow it.

So all in all not that bad. Pills for a few years sucks but hey I did it and it wasnt that scarring. The horrid part I remember is the being tied down to a metal table spread eagle and cathetered and told to pee while they take pictures for almost an hour behind a huge concrete wall. That was awful yesterday and I am not looking forward to doing it a few more times with a baby actually old enough to remember. The good news is Dr Morgan says he thinks I can request Zeke to be put out for the procedure next time when he's 1. Dr Star verified this. Its a "concious anasthesia" whatever that means. Im doing it no matter what its called. It was bad enough yesterday.

Sooooo, yeah. M+M peeps I will see you tomorrow at the Oct meeting. Thanks everyone for prayers and offers to help. Mostly we are just tired and bored, though. Nothing going home wont help.

Peace.

grah

I am a failure as a mother.

On two points.

A. I have passed on my genetic weaknesses to my son.

B. I then dont realize when said genetic weakness is making him really really sick. Really sick.

So yeah, remember Monday? I knew something was up, I knew Z wasnt himself. But there was no fever. And I didnt want to be "that mom". You know, the one that rushes her baby to the doctor because he's fussy and restless even though he doesn't have a fever, he's eating fine, and he's happy 70 percent of the time still. Well Monday night the fever started. And I said, well its one night, its only 101 which isnt that much for a baby really. I will give him Tylenol and call Dr Morgan in the morning.

A horrid night. A worse morning. I get an appointment for 11. Of course Zeke's totally cheerful. His ears are fine. His chest sounds great. He's not even teething. But Dr Morgan God bless him, after listening to me talk about his change of attitude and after taking his temp again (slightly high) says well maybe its something after all. We order a blood and urine test.

Well the blood test comes back with LOTS of white blood cells. The urine test lights up like a christmas tree. Dr Morgan calls to say to come to the hospital, he needs to be on an IV and he needs it now.

Evidently my son (after 2 days in the hospital now and scans and blood draws and xrays) has urinary reflux. Just. Like. Me. All that random screaming and nightwaking? He was probably trying to pee. Yeah, he's had a UTI for at least 2 weeks by the looks of it.

How was I supposed to know? He always cheered up. He never had a fever.....

I feel awful. Anyways, we get released tomorrow. Cross fingers, barring all changes. And Dr Morgan is giong to discuss with me where we go from here after he gets the results of his bladder scan. (I remember that scan. Its so awful to be on the other side of it. Although not nearly as awful as his side. I know. I remember.)

I will update later.