I want me a wife

Let me start right off the bat with a disclaimer that I've never actually seen the tv show Big Love. I dont have cable and I dont watch much TV...I watch House obsessively, The Office when I get the chance, and Josh and I are still wading thru the first season of Mad Men on DVD (we have been at it for months at the pace of about 1 episode a month, lol). So even if I DID have cable I'd probably never manage to get thru the first season.

But from my understanding its about a man with 3 wives. And let me tell you that other than the whole sharing a husband thing, that sounds to me like a really amazing idea. (And to be honest there are certain nights when I wouldnt mind pimping Josh out in order to get some help around here) I heard somewhere (and I cant place where exactly so it may not be true) that in the show each wife has her own house and then their backyards all connect. Totally awesome, although sharing a house would cut down on cleaning....

This obsession of mine began when I read a back article in Mothering Magazine about generational housing (kids, parents, and grandparents all in one house). It stewed for a while there, the idea. Then in the latest Mothering there was another article about the same thing, and a family that was purposfully building a house with 2 small apartments attached for the grandparents. That brought it back to the forefront of my mind, and right after my mother in law had left her week-long visit to help with Mal.

Before kids, the idea held absolutely no magic for me. But after kids...just think of the support! Someone else to hold a baby for a little while, someone else to do the dishes for once, someone else to talk to during those long hours with only children under 2 for company!! And family would really be the best because you have to love eachother, its the rules.

Alas I have no parents, parents in laws, or siblings that would be willing to come to spokane and live with me. Lame.

So my next idea was a commune! I will start a commune! We will go slightly outside of city limits and raise our children all together, homeschooling together, and making meals together, and have a joint garden!! And we wont force anyone to wear creepy amish-like clothing either! Unfortunately Josh doesnt think he's cut out for commune life. I am still talking to him about it but I might have to put the idea on a back-burner until he dies or something...

But then I learned about Big Love. And after much thought I had to throw out the idea of polygamy...but I could still force/cajole some freinds into buying houses adjacent to mine. The one next door is already empty...


Rachel said...

If you read my bio on my blog, then you know that I'm polyamorous. It's funny the things that some people try to attack the lifestyle with; things which you yourself noted are actually pretty nice and that hey, maybe us monogamous people should get in on some of the benefits too!

The biggest one is that it's "bad for the children" ... you know, because having lots of responsible, loving adults who are pretty much additional parents, is bad for the kids.
And the house cleaning is great! Actually, it's a joke in the poly world that the girlfriends come over and do the dishes. But, it's one of those things that's funny because it's usually true!
It's really really nice to have help with the kids and the housework, but it's even great financially. Think about it, one parent still stays home, but then you have two or three or four others who go out and work and all bring money back to the same house. How economical!

And I like the commune idea. We'll have to start buying up real estate for mindful mamas. That whole "it takes a village" ... and we'll couple that in with building our own natural birthing and parenting community.

Really though, it's almost a wonder that we don't keep up the roommate thing after we go and get married. I guess it's just because this culture is so big on "mine, my own, I get it my way and I am not going to share, go get your own!"
Because if you got two couples who could get along living together as roommates, it really would be a great deal for everyone!

g-pa Bill said...

Hi Courtney,

Some time ago, I think it was Christmas, we were sitting around Anne's home sharing what we would like to have the most. Mark said that he would like a clone of himself. Anne, a little perplexed, asked Mark why he would want a clone of himself. His reply: 'The clone would do all the work, of course!'

Jen said...

There are a lot of small communes arond here. I still haven't gotten an invitiation to visit one yet (gee, I wonder why), but the people living in them seem to really love it.