It really was 4 years ago today that I walked down that isle, though. Yep, it's Josh and I's 4th anniversary.
I married Josh for a lot of reasons. We had similar beliefs as far as religion/morals/ethics and all of that go, similar views on what we wanted in life and family, and personalities that meshed well together. We were both emotionally ready to be married, even though we were still “teenagers for Lords sake” and he was the kind of man that I knew I could respect, the kind of man that I knew I could vow to trust and follow and serve. He was loyal and loving and patient and basically the epitome of the Good Man and somehow I was intelligent or lucky enough to know the value and rarity of that even at an age when most of my friends were still going for exciting and dangerous and mysterious.
Josh says he married ME because (and this is one of his most endearing traits) he believes that we are soul mates. I dont personally buy into true love or fate. I dont think God really deals in things so specific. I believe we have a purpose and that we have a place and that the way we get there and get it done is pretty much left to us.
As I think back on the last 4 years, however, as I remember all of the little and the big things, I wonder if I'm not becoming a romantic after all, though. Our first camping trip, when we remembered the eggs but not a pan to cook them in and we couldn't find any dry wood anyways but we didn't care, it was all just funny. The day we went to go register for our wedding and I realized that neither of us were wearing a single item of clothing without a hole in it, or had brushed our hair for probably 3 days, and there we were at Macy's while a woman tried to talk us into the importance of having a china set and he said...he actually SAID “we dont need any china, we're Americans.” I remember the look on that poor woman's face, she totally didnt get the joke. The pre-kids Saturdays when we stayed in bed until 3 or 4 or even later in the afternoon (remember those honey?) just sleeping and laughing and making love and talking and putting it all on repeat. I remember the way he held my hand while I had those heart wrenching contractions and we lost our first baby, and I remember the day after Zeke was born and how we tried to play Scrabble but couldn't concentrate because we both just wanted to stare at him, amazed at what we had been given. I remember so many adventures and misadventures, so many mornings waking up in each other's arms, so many kisses on the neck, so many celebrations and disappointments and that time he got me laughing so hard at the old man raking his leaves into the street that I cant help but to think maybe he was right after all, maybe we ARE soul mates.
And its only been 4 years. In another 10 I'll get REALLY mushy.