The end of summer

Even though it's warmed up again and suddenly feels like we're still in the thick of it, our family is realizing that summer is drawing to a close.

This presents itself differently in each of us.

The Z's (Zeke and Ziggy of course) have been spending every waking moment that I will allow in the backyard in what I like to call their "little forest". And every waking moment that I will allow equals out to almost every waking moment. Even though neither one of them is allowed in the backyard without me yet, the weather has been cool enough that I don't mind sitting on the back porch hour after hour. Not with how clean it keeps the house!
That right there is the "little forest". I did mention the littleness right? But they sure seem to love it. There are rocks and sticks and bugs and dirt, ie everything a young boy (and kitten) need to have fun.
Although since trimming our bushes on the other side of the yard back a little bit, Zeke has also been favoring crouching back there. I'm pretty sure he thinks I cant see him.
And of course there always has to be time spent on the patio driving his 4 wheeler.
And a few minutes rest on the deck in mommy's chair. (note to self: next year Zeke needs his OWN chair)

For my part, this end of summer rush involved a lot of what I called when I was a child "forced family fun". Which meant a trip to the fair on Saturday. Zeke's favorite animals were the pigs and the goats by far. He really really wanted to climb right in with those piggies, even when they were awake and snorting at him! And Josh and I got to see the hypnotist that we watch every year.
We also went back to Greenbluff to see if by any chance at all there were still peaches left (we were lucky and there were!) and to pick the early apples. The apple trees were absolutely LOADED.

Josh, for his part, actually doesnt seem to mind summer leaving at all. He's just looking forward to the Fall. In fact after his initial dissapointment when I informed him that I was hosting a baby shower next weekend and had a lot to do to prepare for that and therefore no, he couldnt "just have both", he did in fact have to choose between apple pie and another peach cobbler this week, (he chose apple pie)... after that initial dissapointment he went on a good half-hour reverie about how "it was almost fall wasnt it?" and that meant I was "going to make that pumpkin roll thing soon right?" And he looked so happy that I almost *almost* decided to go ahead and make him both, shower next weekend or not.

When you have a husband that gets THAT excited about your cooking how do you NOT give in? I know I'm going to give the man diabetes but I just cant help it.

It also gave me one of those really crazy "how did I get here moments". Do you ever do that? Suddenly you look around yourself are you are suddenly like "how in the heck did I get here?". Not necessarily in a bad way but it's just that as a very young (say 12 year old) woman I saw myself as this huge feminist. I was going to be a top editor at a major publishing company (an editor mind you, not a copywriter or an assistant but the head honcho). I was going to live in New York and adopt babies from Africa and never mind a husband because who the heck needs one?

Now I find so much of my identity in "wife", which is pretty much "second" if you are honest about it. I bake his favorite deserts and I cook dinners and I rush around at 5 o clock every night trying to get our house and child into some semblace of order because (and yes, I would have gagged a few years ago too) my husband works long hours at a job that is often frusterating and rarely satisfying or challenging and he deserved to come home to a clean house and clean child and a wife that can give him an hour before she starts with the "honey do's".

He doesn't always get it, sometimes Zeke is filthy and there are dishes piled high in the sink and oh yeah we need to go to the grocery store even though you just walked in the door but first change Zeke's diaper for me while I go get dressed because I'm still in PJ's... but he does deserve it and I try my best. How in the world did that come about?

I had the same thing today at the park talking to 2 other pregnant moms (we were all due within 4 weeks of eachother, strange!) about inducing. One had found a great doctor who had promised her that she can be induced at 38 weeks, and the other was jelous and sympathetically agreed with her comment of "why do we even have to wait THAT long? twins get to be born earlier than that all the time!" I always try to be understanding of these women, that they are making their own choices ect, but I do find myself increasingly irritated with the culture (and especially the irresponsible doctors) that do not bother to look at the risks involved in inducing early just because you are impatient.

I said nothing and thanked my stars that they didnt ask when Zeke was born as they traded dates of their previous kids because that whole "almost 3 weeks late" thing always gets me strange looks. Plus then I'm always inevitably asked why I waited and have to admit that I'm against inducing. Sometimes then it gets dropped but others I have to tell a woman to her face exactly why I think her induction was wrong (and its always some poor woman who's induced...uhg). And I was thinking the whole time "How did I get here? How did I develop into this person with all these strong beliefs about birthing?"

It's crazy sometimes.

3 comments:

Jen said...

I feel that way a lot.

Great pictures of Zeke!

Kim said...

I love the bigger pictures! Might have to steal that from you. I have that "how did I get here" feeling all the time! Glad it's not just me. :)

Lianne said...

I feel that way all the time. I'm pretty sure my high school, FCY-leadership self would never have imagined my now adult self where I am. But I wouldn't change it, not for anything. :)

Caleb has the same 4-wheeler. That made me smile.