Fake it till you make it

I was in a really bad mood last Wednesday. It was nearly 100 degrees and Zeke was being naughty and Josh wanted me to drive downtown to pick him up and go to Pig Out in the Park and I really didn't want to go. I just wanted to stay home in the AC and be cranky.

But I once heard a very intelligent woman say that "You fake it until you make it". Now, the woman happens to be a doula, and she happens to have been talking about making it thru labor. But I've kept that phrase in my mind because I think it's a great example of how I sometimes live my life.

You see, instead of staying home and being cranky, and further ruining my evening (and Josh and Zeke's evening as well) I decided to "fake it", to act as if I wasn't cranky, and as if I wanted to walk around in nearly 100 degree weather eating greasy food because I knew that's what would make Josh happy, and that's what would make Zeke happy, and the funny thing about faking a good mood is, it tends to put YOU in a good mood as well.

And it worked. I picked up Josh, I put on a fake smile, and we had a lot of fun.
Eating greasy garlic fries...
And huckleberry ice-cream. Among other things, of course. I, for instance, always eat a gyro at such events.

And I use this method often, honestly. I've gone thru stages of discontent and yearning and had to pretend to be content with my place in life until I found, once again, that I was. I've gone thru stages when I was totally lost, and didnt know what to do or where to turn and I had to fake that I wasnt panicking and I had it under control until, suddenly, I wasnt and I did. I've had days where the last thing I wanted to do was play inane toddler games with Zeke, but once I got over my mood and forced myself to not only play with him but to pretend to enjoy it, I always found after a few minutes that I WAS enjoying myself.

Heck, all mushy anniversary posts aside, there have definItely been evenings where I was faking love for my husband. Not that I dont always love him, I do, deep down. But as all married people know, sometimes that love is rather...um...well, deep down...and buried under a foot or two of little annoyances and needs unmet and missed communications and nights of bad sleep. But I fake the love I know I should be feeling, and show him the respect that I know I usually want to show him, because it gets us thru that day. And usually the next day, my mood is over and I'm not faking it anymore.

Now, I know I now have to say this. You cant ignore real problems. You cant pretend you're not in an abusive relationship, you cant fake it until you make it when you need real help to make it (post partum depression, for example, cant and shouldnt be "faked" thru).

Buuuut when the only "real" problem is that you're in a funk as I like to say...well..give it a try. It beats sitting around being miserable, and making everyone around you miserable at that. Or at least, it does for me. Sitting around and moping never did accomplish much in my experience.


Mama Kayla said...

I found you on SITS. And I really like your blog.

You have caught my attention now. So, way to go! :-)

Equidae said...

You have banged the nail on the head :) what you say is completely true!