The first thought: I have pregnancy-fever. I am missing being pregnant, and missing giving birth...but at the same time I am very not ready for another newborn in the house. I've committed to 2011 being the year of no new children (all the better to focus on myself) and I'm still great with that, even thrilled with that, but...I miss being pregnant. That feeling juxtaposed with this article, which I came across last week, has got me dreaming about surrogacy.
What a beautiful experience that would be. To carry another woman's child for her. It's something that I would very very seriously consider where in not for...well...the darned truth. Which is that I'm probably an awful surrogacy candidate. While I'm amazing at being pregnant when I successfully get pregnant, an an absolute champ at childbirth, I am also assuming most women would want a surrogate who's had less miscarriages then them. Josh and I have never medically looked into what our problem is- bad eggs, bad sperm, bad body- but there is obviously a problem.
I hate thinking of myself as broken.
The second thought: After a long break (Thanksgiving all the way to New Years) Zeke and I started doing preschool again. I was really glad for the break and am now equally glad to be starting up again. We did "S is for Snow" last week, which was also just a really really fun subject. We cut paper snowflakes, brought snow inside to the kitchen sink to play in, made a snowman, built an igloo out of marshmallows, painted a snowstorm with white paint, and talked all about how snow was water frozen. Next week we get to do trains, inspired by the wood train set he got for Christmas and is now obsessed with. I was so excited by my library finds that I brought them all out 2 days early- there are some great books available about trains.
I always assumed that when we start homeschooling we would do year-round. But the fact that even now on our very very light preschool curriculum I am burnt out by Thanksgiving teaches me otherwise. In my worst moments it also makes me wonder if I am cut out for this. But that is neither here nor there.
I have discovered why every homeschooling family I know takes the entire month of December off, as well as a full summer break. When we begin I think that we will plan on doing the same.
The third thought: I'm having warmth issues. The other day I thought to myself, "Why, I have really enjoyed the snow this winter. What a strange thing, I always HATE winter!" And then I realized that we have only just begun. Today we are 19 days into winter. We have something like 69 days left.
This realization immediately made me cold and I haven't fully warmed up since. I think the problem is that despite what the farmers almanac might have to say about it, winter starts as soon as you swallow that last morsel of pumpkin pie in November and it ends...well around these parts in ends in April if your lucky. Sometimes it's more like May.
I might have to make a few more scarves.