Yesterday afternoon found me crying, in public, in the snow. (And I never never cry, let alone in public) You see my car was stuck in the snow, my baby was screaming in the backseat, a plow was coming up behind me, a tow truck was on it's way, my car keys were lost in the street, my husband wasn't answering his phone, and I had just gotten 2 simultaneous text messages- one from my babysitter saying she had heard my kids had pink eye and wouldn't be able to babysit that night if it was true, and the second isn't actually my story to tell but let's just say it made the rest of it look like a vacation.
So there I was, crying, in public, in the snow.
Did I mention that my cat had been missing for a few hours already? Yes, my Mony Mony, who never
ever leaves the yard, had gone out this morning and not come back. If it was Ziggy I would have shrugged it off as a protest of the new puppy (new puppy!), and expected him back when he decided rotten looks are better punishment then silence. But Mony
never leaves the yard and she wasnt even wearing her collar so she had no registration tags on. She is also the epitome of catness and far far too aloof to admit something as measly as a dog could affect her. She had taken one look at the puppy from the top of the stairs and continued on with her day.
So by hour 6 of being missing I was pretty sure we'd find her corpse in the spring thaw.
I was, in fact, looking for her dead body when I got stuck in the snow.
And the blessed thing about days like that, the days where just
everything seems to go wrong, is that you hit a point where you really notice all the small things that go right. There is always light somewhere.
And my husband did eventually call me back and remind me that we have a spare "valet" key in his office. And after that quick run into the house I got my car at least started back up which made it possible for my mail man and the elderly man that lives across the street to give me the push I needed to get into the driveway. The plow came thru, which made me give up all hope of finding my keys, but at least now I know I wont get stuck again (at least until another snow). Allowed into the house the baby took a 5 hour nap and when I went outside to shovel my neighbor, bless his soul, helped me clear out the snow against my driveway that the plow created. It turned a 3 hour job into a 1 and a half hour job and I almost cried again in pure thankfulness.
I convinced my sitter that she wouldn't catch pink eye as long as she didn't rub her eyes incessantly- which is true, the boys had been on meds for 2 days and their eyes were no longer pink or weeping, just a little swollen, in fact today is our last day of medicine- and she agreed to come after all. So I was able to make it out to Josh's office Christmas party. Thanks to the neighbor's help shoveling, I was even able to look good. All the pity I received at the party, the hugs and the donated drink tickets (everyone got 2, I assume to avoid a repeat of last year's party where everyone got drunk), made me feel a fool, but also made me feel very very loved. Between people that get my facebook status' and people that were in the meeting Josh left to answer my frantic phone calls I think everyone got to hear about my day.
And then, when I got home and put the puppy out to do her business before bed, in walked Mony, and I went to bed telling myself "do over". And that is why #96 is- That you get to start fresh every morning.
Moments of Grace #82-96
#82 I'm thankful for myself. I know my sister said it in jest at the Thanksgiving table but it still stuck with me all day. I'm very thankful for the opportunity, the freedom and ability, to become my unique self.
#83 The kid's table.
#84 Leftovers, particularly when eaten before the day is even thru.
#85 The magical being that is "uncle" to Zeke and all the years he has to enjoy it.
#86 Online weather reports.
#87 Neighbors who offer their car out for loan, because they know mine cant get anywhere.
#88 Pediatricians who come to my door.
*89 New puppies.
#90 People willing to give you that push you need, whether its a literal push on your car or something more more abstract.
#91 Phone calls in sympathy...right when the tears start.
#92 Plowed roads.
#93 Someone to shovel with, side by side.
#94 Hugs. In particular I will say Nathan's hug, I loved his "Oh Courtney, I was watching on Facebook and was going to leave a comment but I'd just rather say it tonight, I'm soo sorry" or something like that.
#95 The cat coming back.
And then the house, despite my best efforts at winter decorating, seems suddenly desolate. I go overboard for Christmas, for sure, filling every nook and corner. But part of the problem is there just isn't much to put out on the shelves come winter time. In the Spring I have a seemingly endless supply of pink and girly baubles and fresh flowers and paper flowers. In the Summer I get out my collection of seashells and Zeke brings in his favorite rocks and sticks and the flowers just keep coming, switching to the sturdier summer varieties. Fall has its pumpkins and scarecrows and dried corn and fallen leaves gathered.
In the winter I'm left with...pine cones. And old books, and teacups, and a great collection of beeswax candles that I received for Christmas and thought about doling out over the whole year but in the end set out in one grand display, figuring I could use a little excess during these short, cold days. But it still just doesn't compare with the effect of 3o something little wood soldiers and a freaking TREE in the house.
So this week we wean ourselves off of Christmas. We will finish off the truffles and caramels and candy canes. We will skip chores to build really, really, big train tracks for Thomas to explore. I'll look thru my new hymnal to find songs to replace all the Christmas tunes I've been singing the kids to sleep to. Zeke will go to bed every night hugging his plastic Lightning McQueen to his chest, the special Lightning McQueen cup Santa was good enough to bring by his side (oh yes, we are a bottle-free family now). Malachi will ignore all his toys to chase after Zeke's tricycle, despite being way too small for it.
I suppose it isn't all bad, either. This weekend we will have New Years to celebrate. On the eve we have a party to attend and on the day itself I've got big plans for caramel corn, sparkling apple cider, and playing Wii all day in our pajamas. So its not as if we will be quite to life-as-normal for at least a few more days.
And Zeke and I are both geared up to re-start preschool after our long- since Thanksgiving- winter break. We are doing S is for Snow next week and the paper snowflakes and sock snowmen we're making will in part make up for the lack of Christmas decorations around.
