Every night as Josh and I put the boys to bed I pray that they will grow to be godly men, despite us.
Many nights I leave it at that. Just a simple yet fervent prayer, "Father help them to be the men You would have them be, despite my many failings. Help them to be better than me."
Other nights I might pray for specific virtues that I feel at an utter loss to bestow upon these children given in trust to me.
I pray that they would know God's grace.
I pray that they would be peace-loving and slow to anger.
I pray that they would be hardworking.
I pray that they would have self-control.
I pray that they would be generous and compassionate.
I pray that they would be humble.
I pray that they would be wise.
I pray that they would be merciful and forgiving.
I pray that they would be honest.
I pray that they would be joyful.
But as Lent has progressed I have found my prayers slowly changing. And while I still believe with all my heart that my prayers for my sons are the very best thing I can do for them I find that I am being called to do something much much harder.
So now I pray "Lord, let ME fully understand Your grace. Let ME be to slow to anger teach ME to love peace. Make ME hardworking. Teach ME self control. Help ME to be more generous and compassionate. Make Me more humble, more wise. Let ME be merciful and forgiving, Lord. Teach ME to live a life of honesty, help me to daily show my joy. My children are watching, God, let me live the life I would have them live."
*pictures thanks to the best husband out there. He found a great deal on an old cannon on craigslist and bought it for me, despite the fact that I've broken 2 cameras in the last 6 months. (displaying both forgiveness and generosity to our children.) Oh except for the last photo...that one is thanks to Kaitie :).