Preschool Blues

Our new in-the-car routine goes something like this:

"I'm not allowed to kick people, right?"

"right."

"But I'm allowed to kick a bad guy, like if I saw a bad guy, and we were fighting, right?"

"right."

"My left hand makes an L, right?"

"right."

"There are red apples, and green apples, and pear apples, but only 1 a day, right?"

"right."

"But baby gets one too, so that means 2, right?"

"right."

"Excavators are too big to fit in our house, right?"

"right."

And honestly its been kind of fun. For one thing, I can barely listen, because all I have to do is wait for a pause and then say right. Anything else is unnecessary and frankly, unwanted. Beats the constant "why" game, which for the record, you can never win and often requires some mind-bending thinking. Not as nice as driving in blessed silence, or listening to the radio in peace but let's be honest, those were never possibilities anyways.

So now I get a glimpse of what exactly is going thru Zeke's brain every time we climb in the car. The things that have struck him, the things that he's pondering, the lessons he's remembered. And it's often hella interesting. And its often heartening to know how much he is paying attention, all too often I feel like the peanuts teacher- wah wah wah.

And every once in a while it makes me feel kind of bad.

"Mac goes to school, right?"

"right."

"and Xavia goes to school, right?"

"right."

"and Mckenzie goes to school, right?"

"right..."

"And Preston goes to school, right?"

"Not yet, but he will start to go to school next week."

"And I will go to school next week too, right?"

"Uhh...no, you stay home with mommy and malachi."

"oh."

And we've had variations of this conversation over, and over, and over again. We've talked about how some people go to school, and some people go to work, and some people stay home. We've talked about how Layla doesn't go to school either, or Noah. We've talked about how when you go to school you are by yourself, and mommies aren't allowed. But apparently none if it sets in- this kid wants to go to school.

Its not like I wasn't somewhat prepared that this conversation would happen. Sooner or later he would want to go to school, sooner or later the answer would be no. We are planning on homeschooling after all.

But I'll admit that I wasn't prepared for it now.

Honestly, homeschooling plans aside, Zeke wouldn't go to preschool this year anyways. We just plain cant afford it. It's too expensive. The one preschool co-op that I know of is semi-affordable at 50 dollars a month for two days a week. But honestly even that- with a 35 dollars a quarter, and another 35 registration fee tacked on feels a bit cost prohibitive.

Add to that its being a co-op- which means it requires that I volunteer one day a week- which means finding babysitting for Mal one day a week...its just not going to work.

And I'm still really not convinced that Zeke would enjoy it- he's blissfully looking over that whole "he'd have to go by himself" bit I think. But he thinks he would enjoy it. He sees this giant, mysterious, thing that everyone (seemingly) else gets to do and he doesn't get to do. And he thinks it would be wonderful.

And I'm not sure that he's wrong.

And I hate it.

Our Preschool Room

Our "homeschooling" starts next week. The preschool co-op we are doing the week after that. As much as I went back and forth on the decision to start this year, completely against it in fact for quite a while, I am very excited. I think the timing is right. I think Zeke is ready.

The timing feels right for me too. I don't know if its the change of seasons, or the fact that Malachi is getting older and so much easier to fold into our day, or perhaps the part that I started taking hormones, but I've had energy like I haven't had all summer. Life is suddenly very very good.

(Ok, ok, I've been calling them hormones but actually they are my placenta encapsulated. I'm taking them for the hormones and I have to ignore the source even to myself, lest I become so disgusted that I can no longer consume them. I never never never thought I'd be the kind of person to eat my own placenta. Never. But to make a long story short, this last miscarriage threw me onto a hormonal rollercoaster that I haven't been able to shake all summer and I was desperate.)

This week I've been concentrating getting us ready for fall, in many ways, counting clothes and jackets, putting away the AC, dusting the fans, checking the filter on the furnace. Mal has spent an inordinate amount of time on my back. And can I say yay for the fact that I learned the tibeten tie?

One of these many projects was getting our home-school room ready. It's unnecessary, but I have to say that I love it.
Magnetic white board with magnet letters, and counting leaves (I figure come winter I will put up snowflakes...maybe by that time even 20 instead of 10). Also, the window, which we use with laundry pins to display art.

Table, activity shelf, and felt board.

Activity shelf closer up. The shelf is one that Josh made a long time ago and were weren't using for anything. The idea with the shelf is that it's all stuff Zeke can get into whenever he wants, not just when we are doing school. I'll change some things out weekly, keeping others that he is more interested in for longer. The very top shelf he cant reach, and I'm using for my stuff- supplies for projects we are doing but he can't do by himself or things that I'm collecting for the next week. The other shelves have been stocked for a few weeks, while we tested this out and contain: bottom shelf-playdough with a fake knife and scissors; 2nd shelf up- box of markers and paper; 3rd up- his fishing game (which he was using at the time, hence empty basket), and a yahtzee cup and dice. (I could justify this by saying its pre-math, or learning to take turns, or some such but really, he just loves yahtzee)

You can also see Mal's little basket of toys.

To the left, our art frame and to the right our nature table.

Ok, you got me, there's no table. I'm still looking for one to use, but soon there will be a small table there to hold all of Zeke's treasures that he is so soo sooo often bringing into the house. Rocks, and pinecones, and leaves and such. And I'll add things too.

The art frame I'm really excited about. I've picked a famous piece of art to go with each of the 26 letters, and one for each season (The book Museum ABC, featured on the top of my shelf, was my inspiration, and my help for difficult letters). The frame I found at Target, its one of the very few things I bought for the room, that and the wall dots. It opens magnetically from the front, and has storage inside, so it will be really easy to switch out.

Things I thought about for the room but decided against?

The top shelf that I've claimed for myself held books for almost 2 weeks. I quickly realized that we won't read in that room. Zeke kept bringing me books to the couch. It's just not comfy in there. So I have the book display holder for the book that we are reading for circle time and the rest of our books are merrily strung about the house, as they have always been. The school room may be the only one in the house that DOESN'T hold books, go figure.

A what's the weather display. Lots of circle time boards have what's the weather and a day of the week section. Zeke is too little, I feel, to care what day of the week it is. Maybe next year. As for the weather, it just doesn't make sense to talk about it indoors. We talk about the weather all the time...when we are outside and can feel it. I didnt want to break to go outside so I nixed the "what's the weather".

I cant wait to start!!

Field Trip

When I decided to forgo preschool (and probably the early years of school as well) for Zeke there was really only one downside in my mind.

Everyone else always thinks it's the socialization thing, which is quickly becoming a charged subject for me. I'm unsure at the moment when exactly independent socialization is necessary, but I'm almost confident it's not before the age of 7 or even 9. And I'm definitely sure that school isnt the only or even necessarily the best place to get it anyways. There are team sports, there are boy scouts, there is church, ect. The socialization thing isn't a big deal for me.

No, for me, at first, the biggest downside was missing all those fun field trips. Until I realized that farms, zoos, arbors, museums, restaurants ect are just as welcoming to families as they are to schools and I have a bunch of friends that are just as willing to show up and look around as I am.

And so, even though I'm not starting preschool with Zekey until he hits 3 or 4, I am committing to doing fun "field trips" now and then. Josh pointed out that it's really not all that different from the fun activities I am always planning for us to do on Saturdays.

Yesterday was our first. We went to Spokane Family Farm, which is a local dairy farm. The dairy farm at which I will be buying all our milk from now on :) since a friend of mine is starting a co-op to take turns driving out there to pick it all up for everyone. Although for me its only a 15-20 minute drive, which in Spokane is about how long you drive to get ANYWHERE. Depending on the pickup location everyone chooses it might save me time to get it myself. Plus then Zekey can say hi to the cows. Its 3.50 a gallon, which is a lot more then I'm currently spending. But for fresh, healthful, low-heat pasteurized, un-homogenized milk? I think its worth it. They also keep beef cows, which got me dreaming about a freezer in our basement.... ahh the things I would do if we had a freezer... Maybe for christmas....

Anyways. We got to see the cows getting milked, and we got to feed the baby cows their bottles, then we got to see chickens and pigs and donkeys and horses and hold a bunny and eat icecream. It was a pretty big success. Zeke LOVED the animals. He loved them so very much that I'm going to really try to find time this summer to take him to the farm petting zoo. We spend most of our free weekends at Greenbluff, the local growing community, since Josh loves fruit so much. But if I cant find a weekend then I can always go midweek with the boys by myself.

Of course I forgot my camera. Sorry! But I have a feeling we will be back anyways. :)

Side note: Over at The Parenting Passageway Carrie is doing a short series on raising boys that I'm finding both interesting and helpful. It's obviously relevant to me as a mother of two boys but especially relevant at the moment because I'm also currently reading Let Me Be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot which also focuses strongly on the differences between men and women and their thus different needs/abilities/callings. I strongly recommend both.

Waldorf

So I've been reading a lot about Waldorf Education/Waldorf Parenting lately. It grew out of my latest obsession with homeschooling, which I've actually decided to put on the shelf for a while since it's...you know...forever away still. So much can and will change before then that there is no point making decisions now. I'm keeping it open as an option, even an option that I'm fond of, and leaving it at that. Plus I got sidetracked.

It's taken me a long time to decide what I think about this whole Waldorf thing, I never heard of it in my early childhood development courses. And honestly I'm still not 100% sure of my opinion. There are so many interpretations out there and so many levels of the philosophy itself. But so far I think where I stand right now is ironically enough the exact opposite of my stance on the Montessori Method.

Being a bit more knowledgeable on Montessori, I have long felt that it's a great preschool teaching method (it is rarely used with children over 7). I thought it was a great parenting method too...before I had kids. Now I've realized that it makes for ridiculously unattainable (and rather joyless if you ask me) parenting taken it its pure form. That being said, I do adore the activities, and when I was working in childcare I picked up Montessori activity books whenever I found them. Like I said, its a great teaching method. I cant wait until Zeke is older and we can do a lot of the activities.

Waldorf, however, is a horrible schooling method (though it is ONLY used in children over 7). 1. I'm starting to believe a waldorf education, because of the way its organized, could not help but to be a bit...splotchy? I think you learn a great bit about certain things, and miss out on quite a bit else. 2. I think it only teaches to creative types and poor math guys like my husband would be miserable. And 3. Anthroposophy, the spiritual philosophy that the waldorf method grew from, is rather silly at times. I cant help but feel that Steiner (its founder) was all too aware of our innate desire (even innate NEED) for the Holy, but instead of going to what is actually Holy, he skirts the edges of truth by worshiping what has been created instead of the creator, and celebrating saint's days without understanding what the saints were actually about.

But THAT being said, it's a quite inspiring parenting method. I really love the focus on being involved with nature, and including your children in the everyday tasks of homemaking, and the importance of rhythm, and not stressing the academics so much in the preschool years (although some waldorf writers take this to extreme, with an almost FEAR of academics pre-7. I would never KEEP my child from any knowledge he wanted to gain, I just agree that not only is there no need to push it at this age but pushing it could be really harmful).

So that is where I stand on that, lol. Not that anyone actually cared. Before I die I will probably have a stance on absolutely everything, seriously.

I long for the day that I can just not have an opinion and be done.

preschool oh preschool

I have learned about myself that I tend to over-prepare, and specifically to over-research. I over-researched all things pregnancy and newborn, then when Z finally arrived in all his glory, I started over-reserching all things toddler and discipline. I've read more pregnancy books, birth books, parenting books, discipline books, child phychology books, ect then I care to admit. And now that Zeke is firmly a toddler (his tone of voice as he says "no" is proof enough) I am getting ready to over-prepare for preschool.

Josh and I decided after much much talking (more talking then he really wanted to devote to the subject, to be honest) to keep Zeke out of any preschool-type program until he turns 3. This is good news and bad news. The good? As excited as I am to start that amazing journey,
three is probably a much more appropriate age for any child, and especially for my child. Not to mention my family, since by the time Zeke turns 3, Mal will be a firm toddler himself and my life will be a lot simpler (I will take a toddler over a baby any day).

The bad? That gives me a litle over a YEAR to overprepare...and this is a subject I could really really overprepare in.

You see, I still havent decided what to do about preschool. Do I put him in a normal commercial program? Do I put him in a co-op? Do I homeschool during the preschool years or even try to start my own in-home co-op with a few like-minded moms? The last possibility honestly begins to sound the best to me but also the most dangerous for overpreparing.

And of course there's the fact that homeschooling is a touchy subject in my mind. I kind of want to do it. No, I really want to do it. I start to delve into the waters of montessori, and waldorf, and I get really really excited. I could create a really really kick-ass school program using all my favorite bits of each. I love the rythmic nature of Waldorf, for example, I love the idea of working with the seasons, I love the festivals, I think Nature tables are a gorgeous idea. I love that the philosophy include so much art, music, storytelling ect. But Anthroposophy is creepy. Im not going to remove all of Zeke's black crayons, and no I wont teach him about gnomes. I like the lesson books that the kids write themselves, but organizationally I dont like the idea of focusing on one subject for weeks at a time before moving on to the next (math for a month for example). And I like the independance and respect given to the children in Montessori. Let them choose their subjects and interests, great idea. And instead of giving your kid a play kitchen, or even one of those little E Z Bake ovens, just let them cook. Instead of giving them fake plastic tools, give them a real set and let them build something. I like that. I think they take it too far at times though. It would be easy to just slide by with the minimum effort in Montessori. Also they tend to demonize fantasy play. Zekey cooks with me, he's got scrambled eggs down pat. But he also has his play kitchen. Fantasy is important.

Both programs also put a lot of emphasis on their hatred of plastic as well. I get it. Plastic is cheap and its ugly. Plastic toys are often loud, obnoxious, noise-making things. I agree that natural-made toys; "real" tool sets, play silks, wood cars and trains, ect are more beautiful, longer lasting, more cherished, not as annoying. But you know what? Plastic is cheap and abudantful. And while I can commit to buying my kids less but higher quality things I'm not about to go around telling everyone else to. So yes, there will be much plastic around here. And I dont even mind honestly. Zekey's Step2 kitchen is rad.

But anyways, getting off subject as usual. Just think of the possibilities of homeschooling! I could teach my kids to write without the ridiculous stick and ball method (palmer script is my mortal enemy). I could teach them to read using real literature, not those horrible textbooks carefully segmented by reading level. I know for a fact I could do a hell of a lot better than the school system when it comes to incorperating art, music, theatre...you know all the things that feed the soul and get cut first from a budget. We would learn gardening, we would learn sewing, crochetting, painting, woodwork...

We would spend serious time on religion, and not just our own, which I could easily find for my kids in any christian private school. No, I could teach my kids Budha's eight-fold path, the teachings of Confuscious, greek and norse mythology along with our own beliefs...I could use real school time making sure my kids understand that in every religion is merit. The liberating submission to the will of Alah in Islam, the attainment of purity in Buddism, the atonement and songs of praise to Yaweh in Judaism...

Getting off subject again, but see, the deeper I delve into this, the more I start to get really really overwhelmed. The idea of schooling my children is BIG. How do you fit it all in? And I would want to fit it ALL in. Homeschooling is a lot of work, a lot of long days with my kids, a lot of responsibility. At the end of the day they might get a half-assed education. There are also the questions of socialization and independance, which is offered by school in amounts that cannot be replicated at home, no matter how hard you try.

I am torn on the idea of homeschooling. If I truly want to do it and if I DO want to do it, for how long. At the very most I'd say till 6th grade or so.

BUT homeschooling pre-school. Now there's an idea with a lot less stress to it. Maybe I could talk 1 or 2 other families into joining me 1 or 2 days a week, or for occasional feild trips. I have confidence to teach preschool that I just plain dont for "real" school. It would give me a taste for homeschooling, if its too much for me, if its not enough for my kids. It would give Zeke the extra years at home, which I cant undervalue, but provide him with some organized learning.

So here I sit. Overpreparing already. Researching preschool lesson plans, and following
homeschooling blogs, and reading up on Montessori and Waldorf and the best methods
to teach penmenship (die palmer die!) even though this stuff is years is coming.