When I decided to forgo preschool (and probably the early years of school as well) for Zeke there was really only one downside in my mind.
Everyone else always thinks it's the socialization thing, which is quickly becoming a charged subject for me. I'm unsure at the moment when exactly independent socialization is necessary, but I'm almost confident it's not before the age of 7 or even 9. And I'm definitely sure that school isnt the only or even necessarily the best place to get it anyways. There are team sports, there are boy scouts, there is church, ect. The socialization thing isn't a big deal for me.
No, for me, at first, the biggest downside was missing all those fun field trips. Until I realized that farms, zoos, arbors, museums, restaurants ect are just as welcoming to families as they are to schools and I have a bunch of friends that are just as willing to show up and look around as I am.
And so, even though I'm not starting preschool with Zekey until he hits 3 or 4, I am committing to doing fun "field trips" now and then. Josh pointed out that it's really not all that different from the fun activities I am always planning for us to do on Saturdays.
Yesterday was our first. We went to Spokane Family Farm, which is a local dairy farm. The dairy farm at which I will be buying all our milk from now on :) since a friend of mine is starting a co-op to take turns driving out there to pick it all up for everyone. Although for me its only a 15-20 minute drive, which in Spokane is about how long you drive to get ANYWHERE. Depending on the pickup location everyone chooses it might save me time to get it myself. Plus then Zekey can say hi to the cows. Its 3.50 a gallon, which is a lot more then I'm currently spending. But for fresh, healthful, low-heat pasteurized, un-homogenized milk? I think its worth it. They also keep beef cows, which got me dreaming about a freezer in our basement.... ahh the things I would do if we had a freezer... Maybe for christmas....
Anyways. We got to see the cows getting milked, and we got to feed the baby cows their bottles, then we got to see chickens and pigs and donkeys and horses and hold a bunny and eat icecream. It was a pretty big success. Zeke LOVED the animals. He loved them so very much that I'm going to really try to find time this summer to take him to the farm petting zoo. We spend most of our free weekends at Greenbluff, the local growing community, since Josh loves fruit so much. But if I cant find a weekend then I can always go midweek with the boys by myself.
Of course I forgot my camera. Sorry! But I have a feeling we will be back anyways. :)
Side note: Over at The Parenting Passageway Carrie is doing a short series on raising boys that I'm finding both interesting and helpful. It's obviously relevant to me as a mother of two boys but especially relevant at the moment because I'm also currently reading Let Me Be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot which also focuses strongly on the differences between men and women and their thus different needs/abilities/callings. I strongly recommend both.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Waldorf
So I've been reading a lot about Waldorf Education/Waldorf Parenting lately. It grew out of my latest obsession with homeschooling, which I've actually decided to put on the shelf for a while since it's...you know...forever away still. So much can and will change before then that there is no point making decisions now. I'm keeping it open as an option, even an option that I'm fond of, and leaving it at that. Plus I got sidetracked.
It's taken me a long time to decide what I think about this whole Waldorf thing, I never heard of it in my early childhood development courses. And honestly I'm still not 100% sure of my opinion. There are so many interpretations out there and so many levels of the philosophy itself. But so far I think where I stand right now is ironically enough the exact opposite of my stance on the Montessori Method.
Being a bit more knowledgeable on Montessori, I have long felt that it's a great preschool teaching method (it is rarely used with children over 7). I thought it was a great parenting method too...before I had kids. Now I've realized that it makes for ridiculously unattainable (and rather joyless if you ask me) parenting taken it its pure form. That being said, I do adore the activities, and when I was working in childcare I picked up Montessori activity books whenever I found them. Like I said, its a great teaching method. I cant wait until Zeke is older and we can do a lot of the activities.
Waldorf, however, is a horrible schooling method (though it is ONLY used in children over 7). 1. I'm starting to believe a waldorf education, because of the way its organized, could not help but to be a bit...splotchy? I think you learn a great bit about certain things, and miss out on quite a bit else. 2. I think it only teaches to creative types and poor math guys like my husband would be miserable. And 3. Anthroposophy, the spiritual philosophy that the waldorf method grew from, is rather silly at times. I cant help but feel that Steiner (its founder) was all too aware of our innate desire (even innate NEED) for the Holy, but instead of going to what is actually Holy, he skirts the edges of truth by worshiping what has been created instead of the creator, and celebrating saint's days without understanding what the saints were actually about.
But THAT being said, it's a quite inspiring parenting method. I really love the focus on being involved with nature, and including your children in the everyday tasks of homemaking, and the importance of rhythm, and not stressing the academics so much in the preschool years (although some waldorf writers take this to extreme, with an almost FEAR of academics pre-7. I would never KEEP my child from any knowledge he wanted to gain, I just agree that not only is there no need to push it at this age but pushing it could be really harmful).
So that is where I stand on that, lol. Not that anyone actually cared. Before I die I will probably have a stance on absolutely everything, seriously.
I long for the day that I can just not have an opinion and be done.
It's taken me a long time to decide what I think about this whole Waldorf thing, I never heard of it in my early childhood development courses. And honestly I'm still not 100% sure of my opinion. There are so many interpretations out there and so many levels of the philosophy itself. But so far I think where I stand right now is ironically enough the exact opposite of my stance on the Montessori Method.
Being a bit more knowledgeable on Montessori, I have long felt that it's a great preschool teaching method (it is rarely used with children over 7). I thought it was a great parenting method too...before I had kids. Now I've realized that it makes for ridiculously unattainable (and rather joyless if you ask me) parenting taken it its pure form. That being said, I do adore the activities, and when I was working in childcare I picked up Montessori activity books whenever I found them. Like I said, its a great teaching method. I cant wait until Zeke is older and we can do a lot of the activities.
Waldorf, however, is a horrible schooling method (though it is ONLY used in children over 7). 1. I'm starting to believe a waldorf education, because of the way its organized, could not help but to be a bit...splotchy? I think you learn a great bit about certain things, and miss out on quite a bit else. 2. I think it only teaches to creative types and poor math guys like my husband would be miserable. And 3. Anthroposophy, the spiritual philosophy that the waldorf method grew from, is rather silly at times. I cant help but feel that Steiner (its founder) was all too aware of our innate desire (even innate NEED) for the Holy, but instead of going to what is actually Holy, he skirts the edges of truth by worshiping what has been created instead of the creator, and celebrating saint's days without understanding what the saints were actually about.
But THAT being said, it's a quite inspiring parenting method. I really love the focus on being involved with nature, and including your children in the everyday tasks of homemaking, and the importance of rhythm, and not stressing the academics so much in the preschool years (although some waldorf writers take this to extreme, with an almost FEAR of academics pre-7. I would never KEEP my child from any knowledge he wanted to gain, I just agree that not only is there no need to push it at this age but pushing it could be really harmful).
So that is where I stand on that, lol. Not that anyone actually cared. Before I die I will probably have a stance on absolutely everything, seriously.
I long for the day that I can just not have an opinion and be done.
preschool oh preschool
I have learned about myself that I tend to over-prepare, and specifically to over-research. I over-researched all things pregnancy and newborn, then when Z finally arrived in all his glory, I started over-reserching all things toddler and discipline. I've read more pregnancy books, birth books, parenting books, discipline books, child phychology books, ect then I care to admit. And now that Zeke is firmly a toddler (his tone of voice as he says "no" is proof enough) I am getting ready to over-prepare for preschool.
Josh and I decided after much much talking (more talking then he really wanted to devote to the subject, to be honest) to keep Zeke out of any preschool-type program until he turns 3. This is good news and bad news. The good? As excited as I am to start that amazing journey,
three is probably a much more appropriate age for any child, and especially for my child. Not to mention my family, since by the time Zeke turns 3, Mal will be a firm toddler himself and my life will be a lot simpler (I will take a toddler over a baby any day).
The bad? That gives me a litle over a YEAR to overprepare...and this is a subject I could really really overprepare in.
You see, I still havent decided what to do about preschool. Do I put him in a normal commercial program? Do I put him in a co-op? Do I homeschool during the preschool years or even try to start my own in-home co-op with a few like-minded moms? The last possibility honestly begins to sound the best to me but also the most dangerous for overpreparing.
And of course there's the fact that homeschooling is a touchy subject in my mind. I kind of want to do it. No, I really want to do it. I start to delve into the waters of montessori, and waldorf, and I get really really excited. I could create a really really kick-ass school program using all my favorite bits of each. I love the rythmic nature of Waldorf, for example, I love the idea of working with the seasons, I love the festivals, I think Nature tables are a gorgeous idea. I love that the philosophy include so much art, music, storytelling ect. But Anthroposophy is creepy. Im not going to remove all of Zeke's black crayons, and no I wont teach him about gnomes. I like the lesson books that the kids write themselves, but organizationally I dont like the idea of focusing on one subject for weeks at a time before moving on to the next (math for a month for example). And I like the independance and respect given to the children in Montessori. Let them choose their subjects and interests, great idea. And instead of giving your kid a play kitchen, or even one of those little E Z Bake ovens, just let them cook. Instead of giving them fake plastic tools, give them a real set and let them build something. I like that. I think they take it too far at times though. It would be easy to just slide by with the minimum effort in Montessori. Also they tend to demonize fantasy play. Zekey cooks with me, he's got scrambled eggs down pat. But he also has his play kitchen. Fantasy is important.
Both programs also put a lot of emphasis on their hatred of plastic as well. I get it. Plastic is cheap and its ugly. Plastic toys are often loud, obnoxious, noise-making things. I agree that natural-made toys; "real" tool sets, play silks, wood cars and trains, ect are more beautiful, longer lasting, more cherished, not as annoying. But you know what? Plastic is cheap and abudantful. And while I can commit to buying my kids less but higher quality things I'm not about to go around telling everyone else to. So yes, there will be much plastic around here. And I dont even mind honestly. Zekey's Step2 kitchen is rad.
But anyways, getting off subject as usual. Just think of the possibilities of homeschooling! I could teach my kids to write without the ridiculous stick and ball method (palmer script is my mortal enemy). I could teach them to read using real literature, not those horrible textbooks carefully segmented by reading level. I know for a fact I could do a hell of a lot better than the school system when it comes to incorperating art, music, theatre...you know all the things that feed the soul and get cut first from a budget. We would learn gardening, we would learn sewing, crochetting, painting, woodwork...
We would spend serious time on religion, and not just our own, which I could easily find for my kids in any christian private school. No, I could teach my kids Budha's eight-fold path, the teachings of Confuscious, greek and norse mythology along with our own beliefs...I could use real school time making sure my kids understand that in every religion is merit. The liberating submission to the will of Alah in Islam, the attainment of purity in Buddism, the atonement and songs of praise to Yaweh in Judaism...
Getting off subject again, but see, the deeper I delve into this, the more I start to get really really overwhelmed. The idea of schooling my children is BIG. How do you fit it all in? And I would want to fit it ALL in. Homeschooling is a lot of work, a lot of long days with my kids, a lot of responsibility. At the end of the day they might get a half-assed education. There are also the questions of socialization and independance, which is offered by school in amounts that cannot be replicated at home, no matter how hard you try.
I am torn on the idea of homeschooling. If I truly want to do it and if I DO want to do it, for how long. At the very most I'd say till 6th grade or so.
BUT homeschooling pre-school. Now there's an idea with a lot less stress to it. Maybe I could talk 1 or 2 other families into joining me 1 or 2 days a week, or for occasional feild trips. I have confidence to teach preschool that I just plain dont for "real" school. It would give me a taste for homeschooling, if its too much for me, if its not enough for my kids. It would give Zeke the extra years at home, which I cant undervalue, but provide him with some organized learning.
So here I sit. Overpreparing already. Researching preschool lesson plans, and following
homeschooling blogs, and reading up on Montessori and Waldorf and the best methods
to teach penmenship (die palmer die!) even though this stuff is years is coming.
Josh and I decided after much much talking (more talking then he really wanted to devote to the subject, to be honest) to keep Zeke out of any preschool-type program until he turns 3. This is good news and bad news. The good? As excited as I am to start that amazing journey,
three is probably a much more appropriate age for any child, and especially for my child. Not to mention my family, since by the time Zeke turns 3, Mal will be a firm toddler himself and my life will be a lot simpler (I will take a toddler over a baby any day).
The bad? That gives me a litle over a YEAR to overprepare...and this is a subject I could really really overprepare in.
You see, I still havent decided what to do about preschool. Do I put him in a normal commercial program? Do I put him in a co-op? Do I homeschool during the preschool years or even try to start my own in-home co-op with a few like-minded moms? The last possibility honestly begins to sound the best to me but also the most dangerous for overpreparing.
And of course there's the fact that homeschooling is a touchy subject in my mind. I kind of want to do it. No, I really want to do it. I start to delve into the waters of montessori, and waldorf, and I get really really excited. I could create a really really kick-ass school program using all my favorite bits of each. I love the rythmic nature of Waldorf, for example, I love the idea of working with the seasons, I love the festivals, I think Nature tables are a gorgeous idea. I love that the philosophy include so much art, music, storytelling ect. But Anthroposophy is creepy. Im not going to remove all of Zeke's black crayons, and no I wont teach him about gnomes. I like the lesson books that the kids write themselves, but organizationally I dont like the idea of focusing on one subject for weeks at a time before moving on to the next (math for a month for example). And I like the independance and respect given to the children in Montessori. Let them choose their subjects and interests, great idea. And instead of giving your kid a play kitchen, or even one of those little E Z Bake ovens, just let them cook. Instead of giving them fake plastic tools, give them a real set and let them build something. I like that. I think they take it too far at times though. It would be easy to just slide by with the minimum effort in Montessori. Also they tend to demonize fantasy play. Zekey cooks with me, he's got scrambled eggs down pat. But he also has his play kitchen. Fantasy is important.
Both programs also put a lot of emphasis on their hatred of plastic as well. I get it. Plastic is cheap and its ugly. Plastic toys are often loud, obnoxious, noise-making things. I agree that natural-made toys; "real" tool sets, play silks, wood cars and trains, ect are more beautiful, longer lasting, more cherished, not as annoying. But you know what? Plastic is cheap and abudantful. And while I can commit to buying my kids less but higher quality things I'm not about to go around telling everyone else to. So yes, there will be much plastic around here. And I dont even mind honestly. Zekey's Step2 kitchen is rad.
But anyways, getting off subject as usual. Just think of the possibilities of homeschooling! I could teach my kids to write without the ridiculous stick and ball method (palmer script is my mortal enemy). I could teach them to read using real literature, not those horrible textbooks carefully segmented by reading level. I know for a fact I could do a hell of a lot better than the school system when it comes to incorperating art, music, theatre...you know all the things that feed the soul and get cut first from a budget. We would learn gardening, we would learn sewing, crochetting, painting, woodwork...
We would spend serious time on religion, and not just our own, which I could easily find for my kids in any christian private school. No, I could teach my kids Budha's eight-fold path, the teachings of Confuscious, greek and norse mythology along with our own beliefs...I could use real school time making sure my kids understand that in every religion is merit. The liberating submission to the will of Alah in Islam, the attainment of purity in Buddism, the atonement and songs of praise to Yaweh in Judaism...
Getting off subject again, but see, the deeper I delve into this, the more I start to get really really overwhelmed. The idea of schooling my children is BIG. How do you fit it all in? And I would want to fit it ALL in. Homeschooling is a lot of work, a lot of long days with my kids, a lot of responsibility. At the end of the day they might get a half-assed education. There are also the questions of socialization and independance, which is offered by school in amounts that cannot be replicated at home, no matter how hard you try.
I am torn on the idea of homeschooling. If I truly want to do it and if I DO want to do it, for how long. At the very most I'd say till 6th grade or so.
BUT homeschooling pre-school. Now there's an idea with a lot less stress to it. Maybe I could talk 1 or 2 other families into joining me 1 or 2 days a week, or for occasional feild trips. I have confidence to teach preschool that I just plain dont for "real" school. It would give me a taste for homeschooling, if its too much for me, if its not enough for my kids. It would give Zeke the extra years at home, which I cant undervalue, but provide him with some organized learning.
So here I sit. Overpreparing already. Researching preschool lesson plans, and following
homeschooling blogs, and reading up on Montessori and Waldorf and the best methods
to teach penmenship (die palmer die!) even though this stuff is years is coming.
parenting overdose
I've often said that our kids (Josh and I's) will be part of the most over-raised generation yet. I don't mean it in a good way. I'm not sure all of this obsessing is really healthy...for them or us. Maybe this is just the natural backlash of our OWN generational difficulties. Josh and I are, after all, ourselves part of the "generation without a cause". With no draft to run from, no nazi's to fight, no great depression to rise above, we have in a way nothing to live for but ourselves. We often (again Josh and I) joke about the "new quarter life crisis" that seems so in vogue around our peers. It used to be a man woke up and realized that he wanted his youth back...now we just never leave it behind in the first place. But I digress.
But actually, to digress further before I get back on track, I am in no way trying to say we (Josh and I) are above any of that or that other people we know arent. And its not to say that there are no good fights left to fight, either. There are still causes to stand behind, it's just that it often seems that to our generation joining a cause means clicking a button on Facebook and then...oh wait, where is that funny youtube video again? And yes, I mean myself as much as anyone else. I am in no way above over-raising my child, either. I am a perfect example of obsessive child raising.
And I find that my digressions actually ran full circle and I am back to my point. Dont you love circuitous thinking?
My lastest venture into perhaps negative over-parenting began this Thursday when I found out that a local co-op preschool a few children I am aquainted with attend had a few spots open in Zeke's age group. I've thought about this co-op a lot, in fact, but always in a future-like way. The way the co-op works for Zeke's age group is you attend, both child and mother, for 2 hours one day a week. This would obviously work for us, as Zeke is in no way even NEAR ready to be seperated from me for any length of time, but usually does OK as long as I am in sight. It would also work for us as they dont mind baby siblings coming along at all, and it was even priced so that we could afford it.
Eager to provide Ezekiel with every possible opportunity and advantage, my mind filled with the positives. It would foster independance in a way that Zeke can handle, it will help him learn to socialize (something our very shy child struggles with greatly), it will help him begin to learn classroom behaviors and maybe even some colors and shapes while we are at it! Filled with all these thoughts of what a wonderful mom I will be for doing this, and how much Zeke will blossom with such an opportunity, I discussed it that night with Josh.
Josh does not suffer from the over-parenting syndrom nearly as much as I. He saw the disaster that this would most likely be as soon as the subject came up but, in case you havent heard, I married a great man, so he broke it to me gently.
Or at least he tried. He started out on shakey ground, bringing up the fact that I will have a newborn soon, one that will eat ALL THE TIME, and that maybe it was more than I could handle right now. Not a great angle, I didnt want to hear that my own abilities could somehow negatively affect Zeke. Seriously, just try to tell me that I cant fly in order to save my child from the deep seated trauma of such-and-such. I can fly mister and I will!
He switched tactics quickly, to quoting my own previous and often stated opinions. Good idea, couched in all that intelligence and good sense (I said it after all) all that mumbo jumbo about my biting off more than I can chew might go down easier. Because it is true, after all, that I've said this winter we really need to focus on our family and strengthening our relationships not only with the new baby when she comes but also with Zeke and each other. Adding a new family member can put stress on all bonds, after all, and will create a whole new balance within our family. We need this time to hunker down and make sure our marriage is on strong grounds, that Zeke is feeling safe in our love and his own position, and that on top of all of that we are bonding with our new child during these important first months. Its a big job.
It's also true that I've said we (and by that I really mean I, since Josh isnt guiltly of it) need to be careful not to push Zeke too hard. He is still a baby, no matter how easy it is to forget with him getting so big and learning new things everyday. And it will be even harder to remember with another baby in the house. But just because we have another child doesnt mean Zeke needs to grow up faster. They can BOTH be babies. Just ask Zeke. He still refers to himself as "baby Zeke" and just you try to tell him he's a big boy...it makes him VERY mad. And I have also said that I need to be careful not to push him towards independance and socialization that he isnt ready for. I want to be the kind of mother that accepts who my child is and the pace that he is ready to take, even if that is sometimes slower than another child. I never want Zeke to be ashamed of himself, or to think that I am ashamed of him.
After all of that, along with reminders that Zeke and I go to playdates and socialize that way all the time, and how he is not even 2 years old yet, and that new enviroments and schedules throw him off SO much right now and so much more...after all of THAT, the other stuff, you know, about there being a NEWBORN coming soon and how even if they are welcoming of it at the preschool, maybe I wont be so welcoming of having to get out of the house by 9 am once a week or so able to focus once I do make it there seemed a lot more logical, and also more kindly meant.
So it looks like co-op is out. For now, at least. We will bring the subject up again next fall when they start the 2010 "school year". By then Zeke will be 2, Blueberry will be 6 months, and everything will be different.
But actually, to digress further before I get back on track, I am in no way trying to say we (Josh and I) are above any of that or that other people we know arent. And its not to say that there are no good fights left to fight, either. There are still causes to stand behind, it's just that it often seems that to our generation joining a cause means clicking a button on Facebook and then...oh wait, where is that funny youtube video again? And yes, I mean myself as much as anyone else. I am in no way above over-raising my child, either. I am a perfect example of obsessive child raising.
And I find that my digressions actually ran full circle and I am back to my point. Dont you love circuitous thinking?
My lastest venture into perhaps negative over-parenting began this Thursday when I found out that a local co-op preschool a few children I am aquainted with attend had a few spots open in Zeke's age group. I've thought about this co-op a lot, in fact, but always in a future-like way. The way the co-op works for Zeke's age group is you attend, both child and mother, for 2 hours one day a week. This would obviously work for us, as Zeke is in no way even NEAR ready to be seperated from me for any length of time, but usually does OK as long as I am in sight. It would also work for us as they dont mind baby siblings coming along at all, and it was even priced so that we could afford it.
Eager to provide Ezekiel with every possible opportunity and advantage, my mind filled with the positives. It would foster independance in a way that Zeke can handle, it will help him learn to socialize (something our very shy child struggles with greatly), it will help him begin to learn classroom behaviors and maybe even some colors and shapes while we are at it! Filled with all these thoughts of what a wonderful mom I will be for doing this, and how much Zeke will blossom with such an opportunity, I discussed it that night with Josh.
Josh does not suffer from the over-parenting syndrom nearly as much as I. He saw the disaster that this would most likely be as soon as the subject came up but, in case you havent heard, I married a great man, so he broke it to me gently.
Or at least he tried. He started out on shakey ground, bringing up the fact that I will have a newborn soon, one that will eat ALL THE TIME, and that maybe it was more than I could handle right now. Not a great angle, I didnt want to hear that my own abilities could somehow negatively affect Zeke. Seriously, just try to tell me that I cant fly in order to save my child from the deep seated trauma of such-and-such. I can fly mister and I will!
He switched tactics quickly, to quoting my own previous and often stated opinions. Good idea, couched in all that intelligence and good sense (I said it after all) all that mumbo jumbo about my biting off more than I can chew might go down easier. Because it is true, after all, that I've said this winter we really need to focus on our family and strengthening our relationships not only with the new baby when she comes but also with Zeke and each other. Adding a new family member can put stress on all bonds, after all, and will create a whole new balance within our family. We need this time to hunker down and make sure our marriage is on strong grounds, that Zeke is feeling safe in our love and his own position, and that on top of all of that we are bonding with our new child during these important first months. Its a big job.
It's also true that I've said we (and by that I really mean I, since Josh isnt guiltly of it) need to be careful not to push Zeke too hard. He is still a baby, no matter how easy it is to forget with him getting so big and learning new things everyday. And it will be even harder to remember with another baby in the house. But just because we have another child doesnt mean Zeke needs to grow up faster. They can BOTH be babies. Just ask Zeke. He still refers to himself as "baby Zeke" and just you try to tell him he's a big boy...it makes him VERY mad. And I have also said that I need to be careful not to push him towards independance and socialization that he isnt ready for. I want to be the kind of mother that accepts who my child is and the pace that he is ready to take, even if that is sometimes slower than another child. I never want Zeke to be ashamed of himself, or to think that I am ashamed of him.
After all of that, along with reminders that Zeke and I go to playdates and socialize that way all the time, and how he is not even 2 years old yet, and that new enviroments and schedules throw him off SO much right now and so much more...after all of THAT, the other stuff, you know, about there being a NEWBORN coming soon and how even if they are welcoming of it at the preschool, maybe I wont be so welcoming of having to get out of the house by 9 am once a week or so able to focus once I do make it there seemed a lot more logical, and also more kindly meant.
So it looks like co-op is out. For now, at least. We will bring the subject up again next fall when they start the 2010 "school year". By then Zeke will be 2, Blueberry will be 6 months, and everything will be different.
Thoughts
I have been struck by many thoughts the past few days.
1. I wished the old wives tales were true and starting solids meant longer breaks between feedings. But then I was glad they weren't (or at least aren't for my little fatty) since cereal is pretty much nutritionally useless, even the expensive organic whole-grain stuff that I buy. Also call me crazy but I really really enjoy breastfeeding. It's becoming the only time my son will cuddle me. All he wants these days is to play. Josh has started wrestling with him and its so hilarious to watch, Zeke just loves it.
Sorry, my train of thought kind of de-railed.
2. I wondered when it will hit Zeke that we are two separate people. I read this happens anytime between 6-12 months. Then I wondered when it will hit me. I've been away from him a few times now. Josh and I have had "dates", also I get my mom's night once a month. But it always feels strange. I dont know if I will ever feel completely separate from him.
3. A call today: Me "Hello?". On the line "Hi, sweetie..." What is sadder? That Dr Morgan's nurse calls me sweetie and starts reminding me about Z's appointment Monday before even introducing who she is or that it was unnecessary because I recognized that is was her? We are in that office WAY too much.
Also I've been thinking a lot about school for Zeke. (Yes, I am the mom that starts thinking about this when her son is 4 months old) I really really want to get him into Montessori but let's face it, there is no guarantee that Zeke will be accepted, it's a very competitive program and no matter how much breast milk and Faulkner I stuff into that child he is going to be who he is going to be. I am also considering the APPLE program, its less competitive but requires a LOT of parent kissing-up (serving on boards, volunteering in the classroom) to be accepted. Its really intriguing to me, however, and I think might be well worth it. Then there is also Catholic school (the only private we can afford) some of which around here are very well though-of. Then of course public is always an option, its kind of hit and miss in Spokane but worlds better than anything I grew up with in Idaho and if Josh and I are careful when we buy a house we could end up in a district better than any alternative choice.
Just a lot to consider. And absolutely useless right now because hey, its like 6 years away. Also so much will affect the choice that cant be anticipated like what public school we are assigned to and Zeke's personality. An independent child would thrive in Montessori, on the other hand APPLE would allow me to be much much more involved and would be a better transition for a more needy kid. Then I was thinking that it would also depend on how many more I had at home at the time, what kind of effort I could really put into it.
Which led me to the real thought. I've always wanted a huge family. 4, 5, 6 kids. But now I'm wondering if that's still true. I mean, a lot of kids would be great. But I want to do so much for my children. I want them to have so many opportunities. And the sad but very true fact is, there is only so much "me" to go around. I can give a lot more to 2 or even 3 children then I could to 4 or 5. I mean, number 5 is not going to be read to every day like Ezekiel has been, he wouldn't get any of the alone time Zeke has enjoyed. If I've got 4 others at home, I can't volunteer in Zeke's classroom or go on field trips or help him with his homework as often. Josh and I could handle 2 playing soccer or hockey or whatever but probably not 5.
I know a lot of the above isn't really important. You don't have to play soccer to be a well balanced human ect. But its something I'd like to do. And I know lot of mom's have quite a few children (or plan to) and handle it wonderfully, their kids do get time each and they do handle all the conflicting schedules with grace. Some of you read this blog. Go you, seriously. I'm not saying YOU cant do it. I'm saying maybe I cant.
Just a thought.
1. I wished the old wives tales were true and starting solids meant longer breaks between feedings. But then I was glad they weren't (or at least aren't for my little fatty) since cereal is pretty much nutritionally useless, even the expensive organic whole-grain stuff that I buy. Also call me crazy but I really really enjoy breastfeeding. It's becoming the only time my son will cuddle me. All he wants these days is to play. Josh has started wrestling with him and its so hilarious to watch, Zeke just loves it.
Sorry, my train of thought kind of de-railed.
2. I wondered when it will hit Zeke that we are two separate people. I read this happens anytime between 6-12 months. Then I wondered when it will hit me. I've been away from him a few times now. Josh and I have had "dates", also I get my mom's night once a month. But it always feels strange. I dont know if I will ever feel completely separate from him.
3. A call today: Me "Hello?". On the line "Hi, sweetie..." What is sadder? That Dr Morgan's nurse calls me sweetie and starts reminding me about Z's appointment Monday before even introducing who she is or that it was unnecessary because I recognized that is was her? We are in that office WAY too much.
Also I've been thinking a lot about school for Zeke. (Yes, I am the mom that starts thinking about this when her son is 4 months old) I really really want to get him into Montessori but let's face it, there is no guarantee that Zeke will be accepted, it's a very competitive program and no matter how much breast milk and Faulkner I stuff into that child he is going to be who he is going to be. I am also considering the APPLE program, its less competitive but requires a LOT of parent kissing-up (serving on boards, volunteering in the classroom) to be accepted. Its really intriguing to me, however, and I think might be well worth it. Then there is also Catholic school (the only private we can afford) some of which around here are very well though-of. Then of course public is always an option, its kind of hit and miss in Spokane but worlds better than anything I grew up with in Idaho and if Josh and I are careful when we buy a house we could end up in a district better than any alternative choice.
Just a lot to consider. And absolutely useless right now because hey, its like 6 years away. Also so much will affect the choice that cant be anticipated like what public school we are assigned to and Zeke's personality. An independent child would thrive in Montessori, on the other hand APPLE would allow me to be much much more involved and would be a better transition for a more needy kid. Then I was thinking that it would also depend on how many more I had at home at the time, what kind of effort I could really put into it.
Which led me to the real thought. I've always wanted a huge family. 4, 5, 6 kids. But now I'm wondering if that's still true. I mean, a lot of kids would be great. But I want to do so much for my children. I want them to have so many opportunities. And the sad but very true fact is, there is only so much "me" to go around. I can give a lot more to 2 or even 3 children then I could to 4 or 5. I mean, number 5 is not going to be read to every day like Ezekiel has been, he wouldn't get any of the alone time Zeke has enjoyed. If I've got 4 others at home, I can't volunteer in Zeke's classroom or go on field trips or help him with his homework as often. Josh and I could handle 2 playing soccer or hockey or whatever but probably not 5.
I know a lot of the above isn't really important. You don't have to play soccer to be a well balanced human ect. But its something I'd like to do. And I know lot of mom's have quite a few children (or plan to) and handle it wonderfully, their kids do get time each and they do handle all the conflicting schedules with grace. Some of you read this blog. Go you, seriously. I'm not saying YOU cant do it. I'm saying maybe I cant.
Just a thought.
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