This sort of thing is bound to happen when you are regularly letting loose a ton of opinion on the internet. And despite the fact that I usually re-read every post trying to pretend I am someone else and obsess in general about writing anything that can be taken hurtfully, it's not even the first time it's happened. For example, I wrote once about a test I took that told me I should be 125 pounds, and how upsetting that was to my self esteem, and also how gross I thought I would probably look at that weight. Well, I have a very beautiful friend around that very weight. To her great great credit she was able to quickly realize that it wasn't about her and that she knew me well enough to know I would never try to hurt her, but I came very close to insulting her in much the same way that test had me.
Well this time I've written about taking too many pictures, and ruining the fun of all by doing so. I have hurt someone's feelings, maybe even numerous someones and I feel very bad for it. Re-reading the post I see that obviously I didn't express myself either articulately or caringly, it does not take a stretch of imagination to assume that I am trying to "diss" someone. I used, for an example, a place that I had JUST attended where pictures had indeed been taken. I did that because it was there that I found myself in fear of becoming the dreaded "picture taking mom", not because there was any example of such a mother there with me. That trip was, in fact, lovely, and all the kids were having a wonderful time running and throwing leaves into the water and jumping in big piles.
Another friend of mine , when I talked to her about it, said it had even felt personal for her, because she is guilty of posing pictures, though she of course knew I meant no such thing. So let it be known I wasnt trying to hurt you or anyone else, lol. I'm not talking about ALL posed pictures. Goodness gracious we need a few after all! I was talking about takign too many, and worrying about them too much, and ruining your time because of it. Like I said, its a balance that many moms I know have found, and I have not.
Lets just please all asume from here on out that I have the best intentions?
Later on this week: A blueberry update, for I am 32 weeks.
5 comments:
Offended? Most definitely not! I couldn't help but relate. Lately I feel like I pull the camera out to capture the moment, only to realize that means I'm missing out on the moment. For example I sat out of Preston's SoccerTots this weekend and let Brad do all the playing determined to get a good picture of Preston playing, later I regretted that. A crappy picture would have been better because my memory would have reminded me of how much fun it was to participate with him.
It was a great post! I understood the point you were trying to make and think you did an absolutely fine job of making it. Although that was a lovely apology. :)
While I certainly felt no ill will in your posey picture post, I think it's sweet to see bloggers reach out and show that they meant no ill will. :) We should all just eat pickle spears, suck on chocolate, and watch a chick flick together. (that *might* be the preggos in my talking)
:( For what it's worth, i think your thought process made perfect sense. I've been there - ruining a fun day because OMG just sit down and LOOK at me - and I had to take a step back as well.
(Example A: This day ended very badly, because i was mad she was crying. Motherhood fail. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivymae/2950831834/)
For me, it has to do with getting down on their level and creating memories instead of recording them. That IS a fine line to walk, and one i still trip over it constantly. And really - if this is our parenting struggle, I think we are both doing a heck of a job.
I missed the post you talk of - don't think I would have been offended though! I am sure you have unoffended anyone you did offend with this post!
I often try to remind myself that we will be the most documented generation yet because of our obsession with pictures. I wonder what our kids will DO with all these pictures someday. I have recently been putting the camera down and enjoying the moment more. I blog less, and love more. It's been very rewarding for me. So, I guess in the end, I agree. I think we're all "that" mom. I have been that mom...you WERE talking about me (except you weren't). :) It's a good reminder for all of us to enjoy the moment so we don't look back and regret that we have it on film but missed it in person.
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